Childhood friends

I have decided to write this post since someone asked why I didn't write about him. Ahaha. So you'd better read this. First of all, there are soo many things to write about, so it's not easy to write about EVERYTHING. But of course, this subject requires a special post since it is a big part of my life.

So this is about my childhood friend(s). I met Nadz in Oman when I was in Primary 2. Since Asians were the minority and since we were practically the only ones with a scarf, we stuck together for so long. We slept over at each other's houses so often, I guess I can say her house is like my second home. Ahaha. We used to go down Wadis and sometimes we go to the same places when we're holidaying like for example Nizwa and the ummm... I forgot what the Omani small streams are called... But yeah. Ahaha.
At school we were in the same class. Always hanging out during break. During the month of Ramadhan, we'd be doing our work during eating time.
She shared so many childhood fantasies with me... Nadz is the crazy type of person, always able to make me laugh. She's also the petite and sweet type. She's a year younger than me, yet she's already taking her Alevels. But that's because her Olevels is only in MayJune and not in OctNov. That's why:P
We meet about once in two years now since she's all the way on the other side of the world!>_<

Owh, and here's a short something for ryu-chan. Ahaha. I don't really know ryu-chan eventhough we've known each for 5 years in Oman. Since he's Nadz's lil bro, he's always around whenever I come over. and since he's safi's really close friend, he comes over to our house often too. The other day, I saw him through the webcam and I was soo surprised. Ahaha. He's already 16 but in my mind, it's always the young and small 11-year-old ryu-chan. I'm so sorry but that's the way it is. lol. Don't take it to heart k? It's been like.. 2 years since we met and he's sure had a growth spurt (hear that ryu-chana?:P) Well, now he is an anime/manga fanatic, like me. But kesian sngt Saudi doesn't have much manga. Ahaha. You'd be so mesmerized when you come over to Malaysia's bookstores!:D Ryu-chan is also a crazy sort of person. Always making me laugh with boundless energy. That was in the past. Now he also makes me laugh through all his over-exaggerated icons. lol.

My dad has a childhood friend since Primary 1 and they even stayed together throughout til Secondary school. In their university days, they both went to the States and even til now, they keep in touch and we visit them sometimes. To me, that is VERY VERY cool having a friend for about 40 years.

I hope it'll be that way yeah Nadz and ryu-chan?:)

Ahaha.

Take care you guys.

~nadhirah
eleven o four post meridiem
twenty first february two thousand eight

Words...

Some things are better left unsaid.

When I think about it, sometimes I'm not so sure whether to have a situation explained or it's better to just keep quiet. I wonder what actually matters the most... Is it that the other person doesn't get hurt? Is it that you convey what's inside you? More than often, the situation varies; and in the end, you just follow what's in your heart because there is almost never a correct answer. Or at least I think so.

There is a past in everyone's lives they rather not look at. I've always told myself to be brave and face it. For some reason, I've survived it these past few years. I don't understand why suddenly now I can't face it anymore; I feel like it's so useless to figure it out. All those times I thought of ways to talk it out, took action to understand, endured it when it hurt. And now suddenly when it's so easy to solve it, I just feel so tired of everything, I feel like running away from it. Ahaha. Life is kinda funny that way. It's that your goal is RIGHT at the corner after the most difficult obstacle or when you want to give up.

Once my mom gave this really inspiring speech, I remembered this one point the most: Do you want to win or be happy?
As much as all my thoughts is that I can keep this up so I can win, I still think that the most important thing is be happy. One day when I look back at this, I don't want to regret I took the wrong decision. In this case, there IS a wrong decision. Why not just go for it? I won't lose. No one loses if I decide to talk it out.

In the end, I think in a friendship, you just don't have to win all the time. It's better to say you were wrong eventhough it wasn't your fault. Ahaha.

~nadhirah
ten forty two post meridiem
twenty first january two thousand eight

Teaching

After not writing for so long, it feels weird to actually be writing again. I initially wanted to delete this blog but because SOMEONE 'begged' me not to, therefore I have decided against it. I thought I'd just keep this and not write anything inside but then SOMEONE asked why I've not been updating so yeah yeah, here it is.

I'm working now at an English tuition center near my home. All the students who come there are Koreans except for this really cute 5 year old boy (he's Malaysian). A good thing I have been watching hours of Korean drama, thus whenever I hear them speak, I'm quite used to it and I even learn a bit more of the language:D ahaha. They are naughty... but pleasurable to teach. I never thought that teaching English would be so hard! I mean, I'm quite used to english and everything but the thing about DELIVERING seems to be the problem. Especially for me, when I studied English, I never actually looked at it as something 'segmented'. I mean English actually has nouns, pronouns, adjective, adverbs, conjunctions, modal etc. And for example, noun is divided into common, proper, abstract, gender, countable uncountable, quantifiers, determiners and all that. And for adjectives, they have possessive, quantitative and all those things and I was so shocked looking through the grammar book. For me, I've sorta always seen it as a whole. So then before each class, I have to prepare the night before AND an hour early to know what I'm teaching. Ahaha. As many people know, English is an extremely funny language. Like for example, the singular he she it requires 's' at the end of the present tense verb as the subject verb agreement. and the plural we they requires no 's'. But then how about I and you? I plays you plays. Ahaha. If nobody (especially that SOMEONE) doesn't get it, that's fine. lol. Or plural of mouse is mice but house is houses; not hice. So yeah, at times I just have to say to my students: You just gotta memorize it.

Before every class, I'd feel so apprehensive. And after I'm done teaching them, I'm so elated, I feel like I've won a battle!:D Ahaha.

The best feeling of a teacher is if her student understands what she's trying to articulate and is improving. And the most troubled feeling is if the student is uninterested and don't want to learn at all. But alhamdulillah, all my students are really dedicated. I learnt that most of them come to Malaysia solely for education. Some of their parents aren't even here as they're still in Korea.

There was this one boy who made me really so impressed with his dedication and will to study and learn. At the end of the day, I think that it is the student who also teaches.

So, slowly I'm learning how to teach. Teaching is a life-long learning. Ahaha. What a play of words.

~nadhirah
ten eighteen post meridiem
twenty first february two thousand eight

soul searching

Sometimes I wish I can run though a huge grassy field and keep running and running forever til I'm out of breath and my legs can't move on any more.

Or maybe rather just fly a kite:)

~nadhirah
eleven twenty three ante meridiem
second february two thousand eight

MERCY

I signed up for MERCY wanting to fill up my holiday with 'productive' things... Lol. Oh well, the lady called me to come in today and help out with compiling data. There were feedback forms (300 of them!!!) from these participants where the MERCY people went over to their schools to teach about "Bencana" (Disasters) and the before, during and after. And they all filled up feedback forms, and I have to compile about their views and opinions and it IS A LOT!!! About kesedaran and pemetaan risiko and tindakan semasa kecemasan. I learnt a lot of BM words though.. Like siapsagaan which is something like planning I think... Not so sure about that:P Most people opt to share information and hold courses or workshops to educate the people. Well, that's what the statistics of the results say anyway:)

Of course, when you look at MERCY, we always see the Medical Relief they offer throughout all the countries. It would be really cool to be doing all those things, though obviously I can't since I'm not medically qualified. While I was keying in the data, I was sitting behind this discussion table and some people were holding a meeting. This woman was talking to some members and she was talking about helping people overseas as well as locally. And she assigned some projects to those people and they talked about really large sums of money!!! Like 300 thousand and 7 thousand... I'm just kinda awed listening to them talk about it.

As much as it is tiring and straining to sit infront of the computer for 6 hours straight, keying in BM data; I think at least I'm doing something and as much as all those things sound so much cooler, I think I'm not that ready yet... Plus, it sounds so scary>_< So I didn't really mind doing my keying in data work. As long as I can do something:) Plus the lady is really nice.

~nadhirah
ten twenty nine post mediriem
twenty eighth january two thousand eight

THE Day

I've been waiting for the day that I would get my results for IGCSE. It is an absolutely common and normal question for people to ask a 'graduate': "So what are you doing now?"

To which I would have to reply: I'm waiting for my results.

Aren't we all? Ahahaha.

So we were all expecting the results to be out on MONDAY and I slept at around 3am being so anxious and nervous for my results and the next day, Ustaz said: THURSDAY!!!

On Wednesday, I slept at 2am. When I awoke, I couldn't fall back asleep. Watched Korean Drama until 3pm, trying to distract my mind, but to no avail. Everyone was practically calling me asking if I've picked up my results or not. After every phone call, I'd scream with anticipation... BUT, I had to remain patient and *breathe in and out* til my dad was over with his work so that we could pick up the results together. Finally, at 3:30pm, I was in the car, on the way. To pick up my results. I was so tense and anxious and.... excited i guess... Lol.

When we reached school, my dad took the result slip and we went into the cafe and when my dad revealed it, I couldn't stop smiling and starting crying. My parents were all grinning and my mom was like, "I KNEW you could do it!"

There was this one dude who came in and gave this quizzical look and my dad was like, "dapat result." Ahahaha. The guy grinned and said, "Must be tears of happiness." I was half laughing and crying and...called up Aki. Ahahaha. Oh well.

Alhamdulillah:)

~nadhirah
eleven fifteen post meridiem
twenty fourth january two thousand and eight

To swim

My first swimming lesson was about 10 years ago. In PDO school, it is compulsory to take swimming lessons, and that was when I was in Primary 2. I swear I hated EVERY SINGLE SWIMMING LESSON when I started out. It always seemed like I was drowning and couldn't float properly and when I see all my other classmates, they seem to be just 'flowing' through flawlessly. No matter how much I was flailing and everything, I just didn't seem to be moving forward. While kicking, you have to ensure your arms are also moving...and for front stroke make sure that when your arm comes out of the water,it's the small finger first... and make sure you lift your head JUST enough to get air... It is absolutely frustrating even one or two years after that. So my mom decided to send us to summer swimming lessons. I still remember the coach. Her name is Yasmin and she is one REALLY STRICT lady! But of course, underneath all that, she's really kind and nice:) After every swimming lesson, she'd give us a sweet and that's what we'd be looking forward to.

When I got better at swimming, I started to enjoy it more, and water became my element! Hihi. Nah but still, it is really wonderful to get in the water. After a stressing day or facing a difficult situation, swimming would be one of my solution:) It is really nice to just soak yourself in the cool calm water and sort of float and let the water carry you anywhere... whether it's diving, doing handstands, front or back flips... they're all enjoyable:)

Though there's on thing I haven't ever gotten over. Whenever I do backstroke, I have this paranoid feeling there is SOMETHING underneath or following me. So I hardly ever do backstrokes... there's a name to it but i can't seem to recall... Still, I don't know why I'm so freaked out.

Go swimming! It is good for neuro-motor coordination!XD

~nadhirah
eleven thirty five ante meridiem
twenty first january two thousand and eight