who am i?

Mankind can be categorized into two groups:

1) Those who are defeated by their desires. These people obey the world and are immersed in worldly matters. They are the nonbelievers. Those who follow them are the ones who forget Allah, so Allah forgets them. Says the Qur’an:

Have you ever seen a person who takes as his god his own desires? Allah knows this and so has left him astray, and sealed his hearing and his heart [and understanding] and veiled his sight. Who, then, will guide him after Allah [has withdrawn guidance]? Will you not then receive admonition. [Qur’an 45:23]

2) Those who struggle against their desires. In doing so, sometimes they win and sometimes they lose. When they do wrong they repent. When they commit sins they regret them and ask forgiveness from Allah. Allah, the Almighty, says:

Vie with one another to attain your Sustainer’s forgiveness and to a paradise as vast as the heavens, when they and the earth, which has been readied for the God-conscious who, when they have done something to be ashamed of or wronged their own souls, earnestly bring God to mind and ask for forgiveness for their sins - for who can forgive sins except Allah - and do not knowingly persist in (the wrong) they have done. [Qur’an 3:135]

The Prophet (s) told us: "All sons of Adam make mistakes. The best among them are those who do wrong and repent." [Tirmidhi]

one night...

I am on my laptop, finishing off some work. I see a tiny black 'thing' scurrying on the white tiles of the living room. I call for my brother but when he arrives, the 'thing' is gone. My brother takes a wad of tissue paper and prepares for the extermination. He searches, but it is gone. I see it again but when my brother eyes at the location, it disappears again. I hate vanishing 'things'. Because you never know they can end up on you *shivers*.

My saviour leaves to go upstairs again. And this time I see the medium-sized thing flitting towards me. It's like playing a game on "Let's scare Alia out of her wits" and making me think I'm delusional. I pull my legs up onto the chair and scan the floor. I call my brother again and he inspects for the insect. He spots it once- i know I'm not delusional.

I ask him, "Aren't you scared of cockroaches?"

And he answers, "I am. But I transform that emotion of fear into the energy to kill." He expresses this with conviction and belief, with his hands gesturing wildly and crushing those wads of tissues in his hands. He has on him a half-crazed maniac expression.

I stare wide-eyed and excuse myself to my room.

And the night is still again.

list

Things to do this 1 month holiday:

• attend July Intake Orientation
• learn to do digital painting/colouring
• learn to make sushi
  
• complete the comics and badges for upcoming CUCMS Semarak Ramadhan
• prepare for ramadhan
• prepare for MBBS
• prepare for NPC 09
  
• prepare 5th speech (this has been overdue for far too long)
• kidnap Farah Firman
• hang out with Nurun and Anas
• execute my VPE duties
• write a novel... or at least the first draft
• ?

Anything else I missed out?

happily

Alina: (rollerblading) Alia, why are you holding my hand like I'm some sampah sarap?

Alia: (walking) What? no no! If I hold tightly, then in case you want to speed up or slow down, you won't have to depend on me and can just let go.

Alina: Yes... but..

Alia: Besides, if you fall, then I can just release your hand and you'll fall alone:)

Alina: I'll make sure you fall too!

Alia: Depends if I trip over a crack or if I get startled by a cockroach or something.

Alina: Well, probably by a leaf that LOOKS like a cockroach.

Alinalia: *laughing like half-crazed hooligans over senseless-ness*

And we walked and roller bladed happily ever after:)

final week

Finally, I have completed my Foundation in Science course at CUCMS. During the final week, we had our exams- two papers: Professional Communication and Presentation as well as Calculus paper.

Meet Wammey. He stayed through the night with me and Alina, accompanying us in the sweltering heat while we slaved over calculus questions. He is -in real fact- a miniature electronic battery-operated fan; thus the night-long company. Tres adorable with the little watermelon on his tummy; I kept getting distracted from my exercises (which is underneath his lil tiny feet).


After our PCP Paper, I finally got Alina to agree to go roller blading. Initially, it was her who was so bent on going roller blading but the upcoming exams put a halt to our plans. In the end, there was no other time and since this was the final week we'll be staying in CJ, I thought, "why not?" and 'influenced' her through her usual advice of "I/You/We need the walk."


So the stunt driver drove all the way to the big cyberpark (which is not that big- but bigger than the small cyberpark). And we began our roller blading adventure circling the park. Well, we were supposed to circle the park but we had to stop halfway because Alina didn't want to get too close to the lake in case she trips and falls in. And there was a wooden bridge over the lake- which may have been quite a feat to roller blade in.

While Alina was driving to Cyberpark, I thought aloud, "So what do I do if you fall and break your arm or something?" Alina: "Do you WANT me to fall and break my arm?" Alia: "No, just thinking of precautionary steps. Maybe I'll call the ambulance. or maybe I'll call someone closeby first" Alina: "Yeah........"


Before we went back, we stopped at the ginormous playground. Of course we can't play inside the slides and stuff- alina says we're too big:( ... But we got to play on the swings instead. Which after a while induces that peaceful feeling and childlike emotions and you feel like there's nothing better than swinging up and down with a friend by your side.

When Calculus exams were over, there was like this huge invisible feeling which had been weighing us down lifted and of course we can't believe that "It's finally over". But Foundation in Science did not officially end there because we had to clear out of our apartment and hand over the keys- the final and official "passing-of-the-baton" to mark the end of our long race.

E70B- my housemates. my friends. my team. awesome.

Once we finished cleaning up, the house was sparkling. Apparently everyone was in a super cleaning mode/mood up to the fact I think the living room was swept twice, mopped up and dried (japanese style; cloth in your hands and you on your knees).

While waiting for the inspectors to come and well, inspect our house, I found myself in Alina's room (the downstairs bedroom) and sitting on the bed, staring into space. Her room because it is the coolest (in terms of temperature). And I noticed these rays of sunshine pouring into the room through her window and I thought- what an amazing view. Thus, the picture:


While we were having the inspection- the two inspectors were in the kitchen- we were all standing in the living room watching from afar. And it so happened that everyone was standing in a line. Of course, E70B is not E70B without its picture-taking moments. We take pictures all the time.

Yes, E70B; what more can i say? We're awesome.

Left: Ina, Kaktqa, Dhurgaa, Azra, Sharon, Njh
Missing: Qila (I think she was outside)
Photographer: Yours truly

labu-labi

Alia, kak atikah, najah and sharon are sitting around the table. alia is innocently doing her work. kak atikah doing photoshop. najah thinking. sharon eating blackforest.

Najah: Alia, do you know what is labu-labi?

Alia: The plural of pumpkins.

Them all: *violently shaking with laughter*

Alia: Isn't labu pumpkins?

Najah: Alia, this is labu-labi!

Alia: hmm... Alina! What is labi-labi?

Alina (in her room): Labi-labi is a spider.

Them all: *laughing more*

Najah: Don't ever learn BM from alina.

Alia: Isn't spider lebah?

Them all: *laughing some more*

Najah: Spider is labah-labah. Lebah is bee.

Sharon: Labu-labi is a P. Ramlee movie

Kaktqa: labi-labi is a type of turtle.

Najah: Alia, I feel like there's so much BM we can teach you.

There you go. A little Bahasa class. I am their source of entertainment.

final

finally. after re-editing, re-doing and re-designing 4 different concepts. Here, my final work for an "Anti-Smoking Ad" for IT class. Mind you, I'm a beginner at Photoshop. Do you think it's effective?

Don't be an I.D.I.O.T.
Intoxicated Drug-addict Inviting Own Tragedy

food

I squealed in delight after seeing the surprise on the table. Qila N bought for me sushi today:) Oh I love you Qila. Thank you thank you thank you!:D if only you were a guy Qila, my heart would go out to you. lol.

Sushi from Qila N:)

Speaking of food, najah asked me the other day why i seem to have "sugar rush" all the time. Somehow the theory inclined toward what my mom ate while she was pregnant with me. So I text messaged and asked my mother of which she replied:

"Alamak. Tak ingatlah yang. But basically I had such a good appetite I would gobble anything (that's true everytime I'm pregnant. ice cream, cendol, asam pedas, ketupat, sambal goreng... Yum yum!"

Alina agreed the "gobble anything" sounds like me. Right.

And when I told my mom the reason I'm asking was to inquire where I got my hyperactiveness and extraenergetic-ness from, she verified:

"Huah huah huah! Enthusiasm is a matter of attitude, not food!:):):)"
(Her exact text message words)

So you see, my deeply mistaken housemates, food does not exactly determine my spiritedness. I eat to live, not live to eat:) Besides, I suppose I'm so animated all the time because *important lesson coming up*, my dad always taught me that life is about exciting others. Not really meaning that literally; but I interpret it as creating impact and inspiration in other people's lives:)

Ahahaha. Okay, you know I'm sounding like that because I need to write a speech of which I have not yet because of the insurmountable assigments due this week. Pray I do a good job for it.

so there.

My roommate just sent me a text message:

"The cockroach wasn't your imagination. I found it in our room. Yuck:P"

to all my housemates, this proves I was not delusional and imagining a roach crawling on my neck. i had the right to scream and be frightened. so there.

craze

Moi latest craze:

Yes, the fruit.

Do not ask why. It's all Alina's doing. Please buy me watermelons. Cold ones I like. Nyomnyomnyom.

p.s. to the certain 'D' who remarked that I was distracted because of the roach incident, please bear in mind not to mix personal and professional matters in a meeting. thank you.

creepy cockroaches

one of the critical questions i would ask my future husband would be: Can you exterminate cockroaches?

Because if he can't, then that's pretty much useless since we both will be screaming running out of the house once those insects so much as take a step into the house. I have declared war on all cockroaches. Still, this doesn't mean that I hate them so much that I can kill 'em. Truthfully, I would be terrified at the sight of one.

Take for example this morning.

I woke up slightly later than usual and after I entered the washroom, i noticed the most gigantic cockroach I've ever set my eyes upon BLOCKING the exit at the toilet door. Out of all cockroaches, I am most petrified at the ones which has wings and are enormously... huge. Okay, so I pretended to ignore it and just washed my face and when I looked again, it was gone. With my heart beating so wildly (yes, it does when I see them) and uncontrollably, I quickly went out with a happy and relieved feeling that I will probably never cross paths with the creature again.

When I entered my room, my roommate was there at her cupboard and I suddenly felt something crawling on my neck. Of course, the most logical reaction would be to freak out and scream and swipe it away especially after having just encountered such a creature. I heard the fluttering of wings toward my roommate. I jumped on my bed, pointed wordlessly in horror at her and my roommate, looking unexpectedly cool and calm and very much unfazed at my normally abnormal behaviour, merely asked, "Oh, lipas ke? Pergi panggil Azra"

Azra, our next door housemate had once been my ultimate saviour by chasing a cockroach in my room and crushing it with just a tissue paper with her bare hands. I knocked on the door desperately and whined for them to please come and Aqilah Nuramirah poked her face out and said she'll be out in a minute. I refused to reenter my room and could only watch my roommate standing as still as a statue (of which later she explained it's so that the roach will not crawl onto her had she moved an inch). So, Aqilah came with a piece of paper (JUST a piece of paper!) and checked around and said it was gone.

The whole drama left me very much awake and feeling extremely jittery and paranoid whenever I see something moving or when I think there's even a slight movement on my skin. After recollecting the horror I had to undergo, my housemates laughed and my roommate described my screaming as me sounding like I have hysteria.

it is not only me having this phobia. Once, my brothers have been so adamant on NOT touching a cockroach but still wanting to get rid of it, that they took the vacuum cleaner, sucked the cockroach in and sprayed an overdose of ridsect into the nozzle.

If you can exterminate cockroaches, I can feel assured of my safety and security.

inside

nothing particularly interesting though...

96

http://speedtest.10-fast-fingers.com/

in love

Siti Nurul Fitriah,

when i read your comment about "the geekiest most romantic thing", i took it as a challenge. so here goes:

When I see your zygomatic arc, pulled into a smile
My biologically based, drug-like state kicks in for a while

The peripheral nervous system executes its role,
hence, dilation of the pupils taking in your image as a whole.
Inhibition flow of saliva (here my mouth runs dry)
My chest; I feel the rate of the heartbeat is high.
Blood pressure too increasing like arteriosclerosis
Just by your contracted muscle, I undergo all these.

When I think of you, on an MRI scan it would show,
That the chemical norepinephrine begins to flow.
Thus an increase of hyperactivity and sleeplessness,
Plus heightened attention and short term memory curse
Not only that but dopamine too takes centre stage
And this is when euphoria is on the rage.

The psychological effects state that it's love that i am in
but in other words, it's the release of oxytocin.