Knowing Toastmasters

Many people often ask me what Toastmasters is about.

Let me introduce to you a friend who sees just how big-a-potential and effective Toastmasters is.

Allow me to quote my most favourite part from his post:

"Well, if public speaking ability is not a genetic matter, and can be gained through training, it will be good enough if we can do it. Imagine that if we can do public speaking, it seems that we have eliminated the no 1 most scaring job to be done in our life. And most of all, we have nothing to scare on top of everything!"

Read more about his first experience at a club meeting at: Nizam Malek Blog

heroes!

My heroes, I hope you all know this. Please stay strong. You represent courage, bravery and dedication beyond imagination. May Allah bless you all always.

Application: Fully FLASH MX . Did not draw with paper and pencil like I always do. Like I said, purely Flash MX. Finally I found out how to use watermark. Apparently transparency is called the "Alpha" hahah. Thanks Ahmad :D

Device: Graphics Tablet

Time: 2.5 hours

Inspired by: www.lifeline4gaza.org/crisis

Reply from Regional Director- South Asia

Certainly a delightful reply:)

Dear Alia Nadhirah,

I am delighted to hear from you and learn about your very positive experience at Dr Adenwalla's center. I have personally known him for almost 10 years and am not one bit surprised; he's not just a phenomenal surgeon but a wonderful human being. In fact I think he encompasses all the qualities you need to be a great doctor.

As a medical student you should think about what you experienced at the Charles Pinto Centre for Cleft Lip and Palate in Thrissur, and when you are a fully qualified doctor one day - healing the sick and suffering - practice what you saw in Dr Adenwalla. One day some young first year medical student will come to you....let him or her go away thinking about Dr Alia Nadhirah what you think of Dr Adenwalla. Join the ranks of people who make the world a better place. May God give you the strength and wisdom to heal with competence, compassion and caring.

Thanks too for your kind words about The Smile Train......I am humbled, but then we are what we are only because of people like Dr Adenwalla.

Best wishes for all success in your professional and personal life.

Satish Kalra
Regional Director - South Asia

www.smiletrainindia.org www.smiletrain.org

Letter to Smile Train

Sent to:

• Satish Kalra, Regional Director of Smile Train, South Asia
• DeLois Greenwood, Vice President of Smile Train
• Dr Hirji Adenwalla, Head of Dept Charles Pinto Centre

Dear Mr Satish Kalra,

My name is Alia Nadhirah Ahmad Fakhri and I am a first year medical student of Cyberjaya University College of Medical Sciences, Malaysia. A year ago, I stumbled upon a Smile Train ad in a magazine. I was so moved by their motto of "Changing the world one smile at a time" that it prompted me to raise funds for the organization. When I surfed online, I also happened to read an article about Dr Hirji Adenwalla. I was equally inspired by his method of raising funds for the Smile Train through giving talks that I decided to emulate his noble work. My dad took one step further and suggested that the funds raised and a banner -for which donors would sign on- would be personally delivered to Dr Adenwalla's clinic, the Charles Pinto Centre for Cleft Lip and Palate in Thrissur, India.

Thus, my project was launched. I gave speeches at several places and those who donated were given the opportunity to sign on the huge banner. Over a period of 8 months, I managed to raise an unimaginable (according to my standards) 600USD and 320 RPI from the kind souls and generous hearts of Malaysian donors.

What I would like to highlight to you is about my visit to the Centre there; I was greeted with so much warmth and friendliness. Although I am just a first year student, the team of doctors - Dr Hirji Adenwalla, Dr Narayanan, Dr Pashupathi - explained to me the cleft lip deformities and the surgical procedures with extreme and admirable patience. I was given the opportunity to sit in the clinic to watch outpatients, go for ward rounds, enter the ICU and observe surgeries in the operating theatre.

What I observed from my two-day visit is the immensely dedicated and passionate team of doctors and healthcare practitioners in the clinic. You have remarkable people onboard this wonderful organization.

I was greatly impressed with the quality control and how Smile Train is fully funding the expenses for the cleft treatment and surgery. To me, this is of immense virtuous efforts. Many people are inspired by the project done but honestly, I think it is this organization's mission and vision which has ignited such a passion. Should you wish to have a glimpse of my journey at the Centre, please visit my blog at at www.anadhirah.blogspot.com. Please continue with the great work so that many more people will be inspired and more smiles can be added to this world.

Warmest Regards,

Alia Nadhirah

MBBS 1st Year

CUCMS, Malaysia

SMILE TRAIN Mission 2

Alhamdulillah, I'm back safe and sound on Malaysian soil. I did not have the time to update on the 2nd day at the hospital immediately after; but it was more amazing than I thought :)

After breakfast at the hotel, we headed to the hospital. Today's agenda was all going to take place in the Operation Theatre. There were supposed to be 8 surgeries but only 6 took place.

With Neena and Neethu (interns at the Charles Pinto Centre for Cleft Lip and Palate)

When I entered the waiting room, there were about 3 kids with their parents sitting on one side. There was a teenager; around 16 years old I think, sitting quietly by himself. And there was this one 6 year old boy swinging his legs slowly at the bench. I looked at him and thought, "He is so brave." I'm sure he knew that he was undergoing an operation and no doubt inside his emotions are in a whirlwind, but there he sat by himself obediently -without any parents or guardians- and someway, somehow, it just struck me that THIS is the picture of "ultimate strength". Too bad I didn't snap a photo though; but that image will forever be etched in my mind :)

I created quite a commotion -again- when I wanted to enter the operation theatre. Of course we had to get changed into the appropriate clothing; but it was short sleeved and I would have to put away my scarf. I hesitated for a while and the nurses and assisting staffs stared at me like "what was the big problem with this girl?" I talked to Dr Hirji and he said, "It's okay, wear what you are most comfortable with. But in the future, when you enter the OT's, wouldn't you have to wear these clothings too?" I'm not too entirely sure of the procedure here in Malaysia; but they would allow scarves inside and also long-sleeves right?

With Dr Hirji Adenwalla -Head of the Dept of the Clinic

Anyway, there were two operating rooms. I alternated between two rooms and that's how I managed to watch around 6 operations. Dr Hirji Adenwalla did the surgery for the first cleft palate. Then I went to see Dr Narayanan's surgery for rhinoplasty because of a slumped nose. Then Dr Pashupathi's surgery for a unilateral complete cleft lip- he used Millard's rotational advancement technique. At the same time, I also went to see Dr Narayanan's second surgery. After that was Dr Hirji's work again but for a fistula this time and then another corrective surgery.

At first I was a bit squirmish- considering this is my first in an OT. I silently whispered, "Sorry sorry" to the kids on the operating table. It looked like it hurt but I had to continuously remind myself that they were under anesthesia. In fact, Dr Hirji told me, "I think the most important part of the surgery is the anesthesia. It's like a flight; the taking-off and the landing are the most important."

Watching the operation for a cleft palate corrective surgery.

I love watching Dr Hirji at work. Before he begins, he asks; "What is the name of this child?". During the surgery, he adds words of wisdom as he works and could even crack some jokes. One of the things I remember most was when he said, "If you think my surgery is good, it's not because of me. It's because of the assistants that I have; they know what to do and when to do." Indeed, when i watched, it's as if they can read his mind. They teamwork is extremely impressive. I could see his assistants glowing with pride; and why shouldn't they? I too would be most proud if complimented by such an amazing surgeon :)

Dr H.S. Adenwalla: "If you think my surgery is good, it's not because of me. It's because of the assistants that I have; they know what to do and when to do."

After 2 surgeries, we had lunch- a sandwich and a pastry- which Dr Hirji packed from home. We had quite a philosophical moment when Dr Hirji talked about religion and life. I love listening to my dad's counter. But best of all was that the thoughts and views were taken into good faith and considered.

During Dr Pashupathi's surgery, Dr Hirji asked for my notebook and said, "I want to write a few quotations inside." He said at the corner of the surgery room on a stool and inside he wrote:

"So many gods to so many creeds, so many paths that wind and wind, while just the act of being kind is all this sad world needs." - unknown. It was my mother's favourite quotation.

"Trivials make perfection but perfection is not trivial." -MichaelAngelo-

He sits in the corner of the OT and writes quotations in my notebook :)

At one point during the surgery, somehow I got a bit confused about Millard's rotational advancement. A technique used to correct the cleft lip; and an excellent one at that which leaves no scar should it be done perfectly. Dr Pashupathi did such a technique and Dr Narayanan explained to me the technique. Somehow I still couldn't follow and I told Dr Hirji. He said, "My dear, there's just so much that you're learning in one day. We're specializing in this field." I nodded and hovered again to look at the surgery.

After a few minutes, one of the staff gestured to me and said Dr Hirji wanted to meet me outside the OT. When I went, he was drawing the Millard's rotational advancement technique and patiently explaining to me the exact procedure together with cutting the piece of paper and ensuring I got maximum input. Even being the head of department- the highest ranking in the clinic- he still had the time to do such a thing. I will forever remember that and try to apply it. It's really difficult to describe Dr Hirji. Maybe one thing I can say is that for those who have watched Kung Fu Panda, you can equate him to the turtle master. That turtle can describe a little of who he is- but with awesome surgical skills :)

Anyway, after the surgery, we headed to the ICU to see the children who had been operated on. Most were still quite unconscious and very much frail. The doctors had to check on their status update... But apart from that, things were very much okay. Their surgery is simply amazing! It's all very neat and tidy and I was told by one of the staffs that, "The work done here is so good that there will hardly be any scars left."

"Her" before the surgery. She loves taking pictures :)

At around 5pm, we said our goodbyes. We shook hands with Dr Hirji, Dr Narayanan, Dr Pashupathi., with the supporting staff, with the nurses, with the Neena and Neethu. I was mighty glad that the mission is done with but there was also a tinge of sadness.

The doctors invited me to come again to India after I complete my MBBS. They even made me consider taking plastic surgeon as a profession. I am greatly impressed with their work but at the moment the calling might be a little weak for plastic surgeon.

Future plastic surgeon?

What I can summarize here is that raising the funds, coming to India, delivering the donations and banner (which now hangs proudly on their ward wall), and meeting these amazing people is one unforgettable experience. :)

Mission accomplished. Alhamdulillah.

June 2010

Did I miss anything out?

dinner with dr hirji

Was invited over for dinner by Dr Hirji and his wife. Imagine meeting the celebrity of your dreams; that's how I feel. I could listen to him all day long. Talked for a while and did a little interviewing. Then we had dinner.

Remarkable people: Dr Hirji S. Adenwalla, Gulanapar Adenwalla

We were treated with a variety of amazing delicacies. Never in my wildest dreams did I realize I would meet him. Having dinner with him AND walk into his study is beyond words. I am truly blessed :) Alhamdulillah.

Treats from Thrissur: (anticlockwise from top left) Rice, soup with eggs, fish wrapped in banana leaves, prawns, beans

SMILE TRAIN Mission 1

This is it. I cannot believe it but I'm finally here, in India. In Kerala. In Thrissur. At the Jubilee Mission Hospital. At the Charles Pinto Cleft Lip Centre.

There's so much to write. Even all this is insufficient to cover all I had learnt. All I have seen and what I have felt.

I was worried sick and so nervous when we came to the hospital. I tried to do research as much as I could the night before but I was a quite lost. So much of musculoskeletal, really.

When we arrived, we were brought around the hospital in search for Dr Hirji. Finally, we settled down in his clinic and waited for him to arrive. When this elderly man in a white shirt and shorts finally came in, I knew immediately it was him. I was at such a loss for words. I mean, this was the moment I've been waiting for for the last 8 months. He entered and said, "Alia Nadhirah right?" I shook his hand firmly and managed: "Dr Hirji. It's a great pleasure to meet you." And he said, "No, the pleasure is all mine." :)

It is a missionary hospital, and there were nuns we saw. If people ask why not help muslims, I will always remember Prof Hatta's words: We help people regardless of race or creed. But here's the most amazing and shocking thing I learnt from Dr Hirji: 90% of cleft patients here are muslims. And yes, we saw many women with scarves and names like Shafiqi and Bilal. So this Alhamdulillah and InsyaAllah, is a contribution to Islam and the Ummah. They too help people regardless of race or creed. It is amazing.

Jubilee Mission Hospital was expanded by Dr Hirji with humble beginnings. It started off with 25 beds and escalated to more than 1700 beds today. He was the one who opened the gates everyday and a radiologist and to the extent of picking up the technicians to work on the hospital.

Throughout the whole morning while we looked at outpatients (9am til 2pm), I sat at his desk. When some people wonder why THIS cause, why THIS centre out of all places in the world, it is because I read about Dr Hirji and his selflessness. I wanted to meet this amazing man whom I had read so much about. Meeting him for real though- is more than what I could have ever imagined. I love what he told me at the beginning: The diaphragm, the lungs, the trachea, voice box, tongue, lip, palate, nose are all needed to speak; it's like an ORCHESTRA. Speaking is a mainstream of life. And this is why it is so very important to repair clefts.

Between looking at patients, Dr Hirji chatted with my dad and I and we got to know each other more. I love the wisdoms he added. One which deeply touched my heart was when he shared that doctors these days have no time to even look at the patient; all that the patients need to know is that the doctors care; that "Art (reconstructing the lip and palate) is nothing without kindness." I loved it when he said that "Helping people is an addiction."

There were two other doctors in the room and Dr Hirji told them, "If there's anything to show, please make sure to show Alia." Dr Pashupathi patiently explained to me the basics of the cleft lip and palate deformity. Dr Narayanan clarified the treatment and surgical stages. I felt so touched and amazed when they ensured that everything was explained slowly and clearly to me. Their kindness and warmth was more than I could ask for. I looked at about 20 children who had the cleft deformity. It's like being taught theoretical and immediately being showed the clinical manifestations- I could actually apply some of the musculoskeletal that we learnt! And not only did I learn the technical parts, but Dr Hirji outlined the terrifying psychosocial issues that surrounded the lives of the patients and especially the parents.

At around 2pm, somehow all of us in the room (Dr Pashupathi, Dr Narayanan, Nina and Nithu - two interns-, the nurse, the assistant and the staff, my dad and i), happened to gather around Dr Hirji's desk and we started discussing about a patient. And the talk progressed to the topic of "euthanasia". We discussed the pros and cons, the outcome and the final conclusion. Dr Hirji said, the rationale, the desire could be there; but for him, he would not have the courage...

After that philosophical session, we went up to the ICU. Dr Hirji ensured that I got a good close-up at all the patients. I felt really bad that the babies had to be woken up- but I guess it was necessary for the doctors to look at their progress. Dr Hirji told me to take as many photos as possible; I of course apologized profusely. Some pictures were blurry and not that clear- but I was afraid to take them again because the babies were crying while the doctors held them down to look at their palate:(

We then headed to the wards and the doctors checked each and every patient and gave updates. It created a huge commotion, especially when we opened up the big banner and got everyone to pose infront of it. The ward was full! And more people even entered. In an extremely informal condition, I passed the donation to Dr Hirji. I had no words, I was speechless, I could not believe that this was actually happening. This was truly the greatest moment in my life.

As I walked out of the ward, the women holding the children smiled at me. One of the greatest things I learnt was that SMILES transgress all languages. I do not speak Malayalam. They do not speak English. But I could see their sincere gratitude and shining smiles- this way of saying "thank you" is universal. And the "thanks" is not to me, but to all the Malaysian donors. I am merely the messenger whose purpose is to deliver the contributions from the generous souls; from the heroes who have decided to change the world one smile at a time by donating to this cause.

It's just so heart-breaking to see all these children and the pain and suffering they had to go through. But at the same time, it is just so heart-warming, so life-changing to see how much these doctors are doing. Smile Train ensures that all expenses for the corrective surgery are paid for. It's an amazing work, mashaAllah. There's so much I've learnt, from Dr Hirji's words and actions, down to the dedication and patience of all the doctors.

I am blessed to have been given this opportunity to visit the Charles Pinto Cleft Centre. To all the donors, thank you so very much for contributing toward this cause. There are no words sufficient to express my immense gratitude. If you could be there, you would feel as how I feel, how EVERY single sen has played a huge role, in making sure that these children not only have a new smile, but a new chance at life.

Thank you, to the doctors, the nurses, patients and parents, my family, my friends and all the donors. People say I inspire them; but no, it is really you all who inspire me. Thank you.

Written at 430pm. Thrissur, Kerala, India.

Third Speech at CUCMS

I had been wishing to share about my Smile Train project at CUCMS but not found the most suitable time. Coincidentally, our group M16 were the present the final Affective Domain presentation of the year. It was the only available slot I could find just before my flight to India.

Speaking to my own classmates is a bit different than speaking with other people. They can appreciate how cleft lips are formed as a congenital disorder and some of the psychosocial issues that surround it. I talked about what my project is about, my dad's crazy (but most awesome) idea of flying to India, the challenges of the cleft lip children and how Smile Train has provided part of a solution to rectify the defects.

I wished that I had outlined more about what the cleft lip children goes through in their daily lives. I know it's normal that when you sit down after a speech, you wish you could have said this or said that. I wish I had delivered more powerfully, impactful and with the most passionate conviction. I admit I was very nervous and that morning I had been looking at "Pathophysiology of Heart Failure and Shock" instead of fully preparing for the presentation. But I sincerely hope that the message was sent across. :)

Alhamdulillah though, the donation drive received a massive response :) It is partly about the money; but it is mostly about the support and the wishes from my friends. No words would be sufficient to express my immense gratitude for all of your contribution and encouragement. I assure you, unless you have done a donation drive, you would not know how it feels to watch people with amazingly generous souls. Your heart would swell with so much pride and awe :)

With Prof Latiff: CVS lecturer; our inspiration :)

To Prof Abdul Latiff, our cardiovascular lecturer, and an extremely amazing cardiologist AND inspiring doctor; thank you for giving me your fullest support. You don't know how much it means to me:)

To M16, when I first told you all about my trip to India, I'm so happy to receive your fullest support. I'm so sorry we can't go together. InsyaAllah next time we can make it a group project? Thank you for giving me this opportunity to present my project for OUR affective domain:)

Thank you to my batch, CUCMS MBBS 0910 for your amazing contribution; in terms of your presence especially. And to each and every one of you (names too many to be mentioned), who personally wished me all the very best. You guys deeply touch my heart with your wishes and concern. As a batch, you have inspired me to be the best; likewise I hope I have proved to be someone worthy of our batch. Please pray for our (my dad and I) safe journey and successful outcome:)

CUCMS MBBS 0910: Half my batch in the picture; but endless thank you's to ALL of you :)

first OSCE

I had my first OSCE (objective structured clinical examination) for CVS. We had to examine a simulated patient- specifically the chest and pulse examination. A lot of people were unhappy after leaving the exam room. I for one was extremely dissatisfied with what I had missed out. Right after the exam, i wrote on a piece of paper:

WHAT I WILL REMEMBER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE:

1. To sanitize your hands. All the time. Even if you didn't know that you're supposed to for the exam.
2. When the question reads "Do chest examination", do the WHOLE examination, not just the left parasternal heave and palpable thrills even if the case says that the patient has just "left chest heaviness".
3. When you lose track of the flow, take a deep breath and do the parts you missed- but make sure you ask the examiner first.
4. Don't feel so down after just your first OSCE exam. there's so much to learn.

Many people were unhappy with the outcome of the OSCE but our OSCE coordinator, Dr Hazian decided to wisely address all the issues raised.

Honestly, I love it everytime Dr Hazian speaks. She talks with so much wisdom that I cannot help but fall victim and enchanted with every one of her words.

This time, it was right after our CVS finals and I had nowhere to write her pearls of wisdom except on my hands.

I wrote down the phrases which seemed to cause a surge through my heart. By themselves, they might sound just normal. But when they were strung together with the whole picture and what she really said, it is beyond amazing.

• What's important is how you conduct yourself.
• Medicine is an art based on science (corrected by Najah; thanks dear)
• You all are so focused on getting the marks, that you forget common sense. You must wash your hands before touching the patient. I don't need the blood pressure to be proper; if the equipment is broken and if you state so, you still pass. if the patient is cold use the blanket; this is how you pass the exam.
• You are driving yourself nuts chasing the marks, what you don't need.
• You have not felt suffering, lost something been hungry
• You are the future. What kind of doctor do you want your loved ones to have?
• Postpone being a doctor if you can't understand sacrifices and suffering.
• We are trying to breed a doctors who knows sacrifice, suffering, are kind, rationale and polite.

She is beyond amazing =) InsyaAllah, all that she has said and delivered, makes me so much more inspired to be the person she hopes and prays for us to be. better and better.

A letter from a Christian to Muslim women

Found this while browsing through my old files. It might be a bit lengthy- but I assure you, it's absolutely worth every single second of your time:)

A letter from a Christian to Muslim women

March 7th, 2007

By Joanna Francis

Writer, Journalist - USA

Between the Israeli assault on Lebanon and the Zionist "war on terror," the Muslim world is now center stage in every American home. I see the carnage, death and destruction that have befallen Lebanon, but I also see something else: I see you. I can't help but notice that almost every woman I see is carrying a baby or has children around her. I see that though they are dressed modestly, their beauty still shines through. But it's not just outer beauty that I notice. I also notice that I feel something strange inside me: I feel envy. I feel terrible for the horrible experiences and war crimes that the Lebanese people have suffered, being targeted by our common enemy. But I can't help but admire your strength, your beauty, your modesty, and most of all, your happiness.

Yes, it's strange, but it occurred to me that even under constant bombardment, you still seemed happier than we are, because you were still living the natural lives of women. The way women have always lived since the beginning of time. It used to be that way in the West until the 1960s, when we were bombarded by the same enemy. Only we were not bombarded with actual munitions, but with subtle trickery and moral corruption.

Through Temptation

They bombarded us Americans from Hollywood, instead of from fighter jets or with our own American-made tanks. They would like to bomb you in this way too, after they've finished bombing the infrastructure of your countries. I do not want this to happen to you. You will feel degraded, just like we do. You can avoid this kind of bombing if you will kindly listen to those of us who have already suffered serious casualties from their evil influence. Because everything you see coming out of Hollywood is a pack of lies, a distortion of reality, smoke and mirrors. They present casual sex as harmless recreation

because they aim to destroy the moral fabric of the societies into which they beam their poisonous programming. I beg you not to drink their poison. There is no antidote for it once you have consumed it.

You may recover partially, but you will never be the same. Better to avoid the poison altogether than to try to heal from the damage it causes.

They will try to tempt you with their titillating movies and music videos, falsely portraying us American women as happy and satisfied, proud of dressing like prostitutes, and content without families. Most of us are not happy, trust me. Millions of us are on anti-depressant medication, hate our jobs, and cry at night over the men who told us they loved us, then greedily used us and walked away. They would like to destroy your families and convince you to have fewer children. They do this by presenting marriage as a form of slavery, motherhood as a curse, and being modest and pure as old-fashioned. They want you to cheapen yourself and lose your faith. They are like the Serpent tempting Eve with the apple. Don't bite.

Self-Value

I see you as precious gems, pure gold, or the "pearl of great value" spoken of in the Bible (Matthew 13: 45). All women are pearls of great value, but some of us have been deceived into doubting the value of our purity. Jesus said: "Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you" (Matthew 7: 6). Our pearls are priceless, but they convince us that they're cheap. But trust me; there is no substitute for being able to look in the mirror and seeing purity, innocence and self-respect staring back at you.

The fashions coming out of the Western sewer are designed to make you believe that your most valuable asset is your sexuality. But your beautiful dresses and veils are actually sexier than any Western fashion, because they cloak you in mystery and show self-respect and confidence. A woman's sexuality should be guarded from unworthy eyes, since it should be your gift to the man who loves and respects you enough to marry you. And since your men are still manly warriors, they deserve no less than your best. Our men don't even want purity anymore. They don't recognize the pearl of great value, opting for the flashy rhinestone instead. Only to leave her too! Your most valuable assets are your inner beauty, your innocence, and everything that makes you who you are. But I notice that some Muslim women push the limit and try to be as Western as possible, even while wearing a veil (with some of their hair showing). Why imitate women who already regret, or will soon regret, their lost virtue? There is no compensation for that loss. You are flawless diamonds. Don't let them trick you into becoming rhinestones. Because everything you see in the fashion magazines and on Western television is a lie. It is Satan's trap. It is fool's gold.

A Woman's Heart

I'll let you in on a little secret, just in case you're curious: pre-marital sex is not even that great. We gave our bodies to the men we were in love with, believing that that was the way to make them love us and want to marry us, just as we had seen on television growing up. But without the security of marriage and the sure knowledge that he will always stay with us, it's not even enjoyable! That's the irony. It was just a waste. It leaves you in tears.

Speaking as one woman to another, I believe that you understand that already. Because only a woman can truly understand what's in another woman's heart. We really are all alike. Our race, religion or nationalities do not matter. A woman's heart is the same everywhere. We love. That's what we do best. We nurture our families and give comfort and strength to the men we love. But we American women have been fooled into believing that we are happiest having careers, our own homes in which to live alone, and freedom to give our love away to whomever we choose. That is not freedom. And that is not love. Only in the safe haven of marriage can a woman's body and heart be safe to love. Don't settle for anything less. It's not worth it. You won't even like it and you'll like yourself even less afterwards. Then he'll leave you.

Self-Denial

Sin never pays. It always cheats you. Even though I have reclaimed my honor, there's still no substitute for having never been dishonored in the first place. We Western women have been brainwashed into thinking that you Muslim women are oppressed. But truly, we are the ones who are oppressed; slaves to fashions that degrade us, obsessed with our weight, begging for love from men who do not want to grow up. Deep down inside, we know that we have been cheated. We secretly admire and envy you, although some of us will not admit it. Please do not look down on us or think that we like things the way they are. It's not our fault. Most of us did not have fathers to protect us when we were young because our families have been destroyed. You know who is behind this plot. Don't be fooled, my sisters. Don't let them get you too. Stay innocent and pure. We Christian women need to see what life is really supposed to be like for women. We need you to set the example for us, because we are lost. Hold onto your purity. Remember: you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube. So guard your "toothpaste" carefully!

I hope you receive this advice in the spirit in which it is intended: the spirit of friendship, respect, and admiration.

From your Christian sister "With Love"

* This article is republished with the kind permission of the author. The original can be found on Crescent and the Cross. Joanna Francis is a writer and journalist. She manages her own blog.

med checkup, CVS, Smile Train, Holiday =)

My first medical checkup: I've had so many opportunities to attend a medical checkup as organized by CUCMS but somehow I've not been able to join. But now, finally I've been (thankfully) invited to get first hand experience! Medical checkup at Surau Al-Ansar in Keramat this morning as organized by UIA. At first I got to observe since I've never conducted a medical checkup before; but after watching Bella for some time, she let me take blood pressure (manual ok!) with the sphygmomanometer.

At first I was very much scared in case I did not hear the pulse properly. But after some time, I got used to it. I reflect and realize; this should be the way how we learn- through experience. Because I really did not know a lot and only after going through it was I able to really apply it much faster! A lot of the people called me "doctor". A good thing I kept my composure, not fall off the chair with a feeling of so much pride and instead humbly replied, "oh saya masih belajar=)". It's not really about having that "title" but if you hear the tone of trust when people mention "doctor", it's truly like a heavy responsibility on your shoulders which you can feel almost immediately. InsyaAllah, I pray to be a trustworthy doctor; an extremely important characteristic when this is one of the rare professions people give full trust to.

CVS classes: I'm in cardiovascular block now- my final block for first year. How time has passed by so fast! I've one more week until my finals for CVS. I'm really so grateful for CUCMS's block system. Eventhough it's the finals for the year, there's not much "pressure" like in a semester system where you'd feel so worried you haven't covered much. Of course, I AM worried I've not been able to revise ALL my topics. But due to the weekly assessments, it's like a continuous revision everyday. I love it this way =)

Smile Train trip: In 7 days. I'm disappointed that my passion has not been aflame brightly everyday for this. Studies, classes, meetings, events and projects has taken over my energy, thoughts and mind. But now, I am most scared but extremely excited! Finals on Friday, BLS meeting friday night and Saturday I'll be moving houses and Sunday is my flight to India. Sometimes I think my days are packed and there's so many things going on. But when I think it over, this is life. It goes on. It does not stop when you have finished your finals, when you face a big drop, when you experience a huge failure, when you achieve success. No. Life is continuous.

I never thought the day would ever come but it has been inching closer and closer for the past 6 months:) Most probably would be presenting about the Smile Train for the affective domain in class next week- my final donation drive before flying off insyaAllah.

Holiday: I've already got a few things to do during my holidays. These include:

• Illustrating for my mom's upcoming book about generation Y!=)
• Illustrating for another book; a secret which will be revealed in due time. More bonding with my graphics tablet YESSS!XD
• Documentation for Smile Train trip :)
• Preparation for Semarak Ramadhan and ROQ:D
• Finishing up the FIVE piling books on my bedside (I have neglected you for far too long my darlings)
• BLS training school tour- depending if there are missions :)
• ???

Further updates soon InsyaAllah:)