Elven Graduation

One morning, (on my graduation day to be exact^-^), I was getting all ready and Ahmad knocked hastily on the door shouting, "Alia, come quick! There's an emergency phone call!!" I was so terrified because Ahmad doesn't usually do that and I thought that something had gone horribly wrong with the Graduation and even my mom and dad came asking me to come out. But I was half getting ready so I was like, "what happened?!?!>_<" while Ahmad repetitiously asked me to be quick. And finally, he was like, "Nevermind. The person will call in another 10 minutes."

When I got out, it felt like waiting for HOURS for the phone call, I was scared at what I was going to hear. The phone rang and I picked it up on the spot and the person on the other end was like, "Hello?"

What kind of emergency phone call starts with someone saying hello? It should have been like: PLEASE I NEED TO TALK TO ALIA RIGHT NOW!!! ahahaha.

I sort of already guessed who it was because when I was getting ready, my dad mentioned it was a long distance call. And..

"Farah?!?!?!"

"ALIA!!!>_<"

"How ARE you?"

"I'm fine!:D"

*awkward silence*

"So you're gonna graduate huh?"

"yeap."

Well, it wasn't THAT plain and awkward actually. I just couldn't remember what we said because I was too excited at the prospect that I was getting a phone call from Farah!:D I haven't talked to her in a loong while over the phone and eventhough we can type a lot while chatting, it can be quite weird talking to someone you haven't talked to in a while.. Especially over the phone. Especially if it's so sudden.

Just a side story; once, Farah called me on my phone on my birthday last year (or the year before) and I thought it was an Indian lady who got the wrong number. And she called a few times and the line wasn't that clear. I was laughing all over when I found out who it actually was:P

Back to the Graduation Day, I mentioned to her I was getting ready and that the ceremony was gonna start at around 9am and that I hope she can be there.

"Oh yeah sure, I'll be there then."

"Aites, see you:D"

So I went to the Graduation Ceremony and then we lined up and sat down and the speeches began. At around 11am, when it was time for the scroll giving, I saw someone at the door looking kinda lost (ahahah). And suddenly the hall got really quite and was looking at her.

FARAH?!?!??! *shock shock*<-- me

So, Farah was quite late because she had to find a personal private jet to bring her to Malaysia from USA within... TWO hours. I do not wish to figure out how she did it. Because the most important thing was that she came:D

And some people were asking, "who's this girl?" and all I can say was that: She came all the way from America!! All the way!!!>_<

We had lotsa fun while it lasted:) But then Farah had to go back quick because Ridy was waiting for her at home and her mom would blow her top if she found out that Farah came all the way to Malaysia. Lol. So she didn't get to attend the Dinner but I was really so glad she made it to the morning ceremony because we have been talking about Farah attending our Grad since .. YEARS ago. Seriously. We would plan and ask her when she's coming back to malaysia and everything... It would have been a really cool Graduation.

A girl can dream. ahahaXD

~nadhirah
twelve fifty five post meridiem
fourteenth april two thousand eight

PS Missy Farah, would you do the honours of writing it from your personal point of view?:P

Travel around the world

I've been wanting to write this post for some time but I have no idea why I kept procrastinating. From Usrah, Teacher rasyidah reminded me: Just do it! (Nike's slogan:P). So finally I'm writing it down.

My employer, Dr Mastura, is an economics professor. It's quite amazing that she started this English Learning Centre. I admire her a lot because of her character and independence.

On my first day (my interview that is:P), I was understandably nervous but then when I talked to her, she was really cool and able to let the conversation flow nicely:) I love the way she talks in English with all the rich vocabulary.. and I learnt later on that she studied in Europe. When I talk with someone who has comparatively better English, it makes me feel like I want to speak better too.

When she holds her classes, she can be really firm like getting mad at them and she is absolutely serious about education but at the same time lenient and soft and treat the kids to sweets and stuffs:P You can notice a good English teacher when she can explain meanings and phrases and everything. The most important thing is actually the ability to articulate and explain to them. No matter how good and how much english you understand and know, teaching is a skill. There are soo many different methods that students can find comfortable with. And she can be really funny and quickwitted sometimes going "Are you crazy??", to the students of course:) hehehe.

Sometimes before or after classes when we're both free, I'd just sit down with her and talk about the progress of the kids or we just talk about random stuffs. She told me that she really loves to travel around the world and have been to places like France and Holland and Spain... All over Europe and more!:) And i love all the pictures I see and the way she talks about the places with passion. I learnt it is not easy to travel around.. it requires really a lot more planning and preparations...

When I listen to her, I think that I want to travel around the world when I'm older, widen my horizon and be exposed to more things!:D Maybe that is part of my soul searching.. that I have to go around the world to find my answer.. Travel around the world...

I admire Dr Mastura:) Once, I even scratched her car when I was doing a 3 point turn with the Unser on this small dead end road (it was a TOTAL accident, who wants to purposely scratch their employer's car??). When I came into her office, i was like, "Dr mastura, I'm so sorry I scratched your car." and she was like, "owh, that's okay:)" I felt so horrible.. and she didn't even deduct from my salary.. at least I dont think so...

But that's not the reason I admire her (that she didnt deduct my salary for scratching her car:P).. but because of her strong character and sure-ness and yknow.. the only way a business can grow is if you are really organized and everything.. The way she talks with wisdom and like she really knows a lot of things... And that's her:)

~nadhirah
seven o three post meridiem
thirteenth april two thousand eight

Up close and personal with..

the Elephants! Gajah.. olifont, sol, fiil... hentetaki (i think.. i forgot what is Elephant in korean:P)

Ahahah. Anyways, today had a trip to Kuala Gandah to see the elephants with the Little Olive kids:) (the place i work).

Well, 95% were korean kids so when we went, it looks like a tourist bus:P hehehe. Which it sorta actually is.. lol.

In the morning departed at 8:45am:) I set my alarm at 6:30 but i absolutely do NOT know what happened and the next thing i knew, it was already 8:15!!>_< I rushed to get ready and pack lunch and everything:P Good thing my workplace is only 3 minutes from where I live:P

The ride there was.. normal.. to me:P Ahaha. I guess because I've gone through it so often when going camping and when balik kampung.. all the scenery and greens were... normal. But then I guess it's something different altogether for them:) And probably I would miss it too if I don't get to see it often..

Anyways, reached there about 11am... Watched this video about how people took over the elephant's homeland and turned the area into a rubber and palm oil plantation... and the elephants of course were 'enraged' and 'stampeded' through the place which destroyed the trees... thus, there was a task force which had to remove the elephants to a more conserved reserved jungle ie Taman Negara..

Had a hearty BIG lunch which Dr Mastura packed. THere were also some other people who packed and cooked the food too. There were like.. meehun and nasi goreng and ayam goreng, ikan masak asam pedas, sotong, nasi impit, kuah kacang and soo much more.. seriously it was sufficient for 100 people! and there were only about 20 of us (teachers plus dr mastura's relatives:P)

After that we went to the elephant area and there were two baby elephants!:D Not really a baby.. I went to Kuala Gandah about 2 years back and they were much hairier:P but they've grown now:) There were about 3 adult elephants and about 2 juveniles.. I judge them according to size:P Whether they are adults or juveniles is totally my opinion. Ahaha.

Well, at first they had a bath at the river. The elephants I mean. After that, we could feed them with the fruits provided which included papayas, bananas, watermelons etc. You can either just put your hand close while the elephant's trunk takes it from your hand or if you're more daring, feed it directly to its mouth. Kevin (my student) was like, "Teacher, feed them!" while pushing one of the fruits into my hands and I was like, "Shirooo!!!>_<" (means "Don't want" in Korean:P).

Next activity was elephant riding. Of course I didn't ride them:P ahaha. and after that, there was meant to be bathing with the elephants but then it's been raining so the water level was quite high up so it was dangerous. We didn't have that activity and so went home early...

Sometimes my students like to ask me words in Malay just like I ask them words in Korean.
He asked me something (I cant remember what) to which I replied "Mulla" (don't know)

So he asked me: "Teacher, what is Mulla in malay?"

"Mulla is 'Tak tahu'."

"Tattau?"

"Yeap."

"What is 'everything'?"

"Semua."

"Tattau semua."

Lol. So, i shouldn't have taught him that. Else he'd be repeating it in class everytime I ask him something:P Though overall, it was a really good trip:) Haven't gone out in a while so it was excellent to be outdoors... Only once in a while though:P

~nadhirah
six forty nine post meridiem
thirteenth april two thousand eight

still searching

I suppose I would have to write more posts because I have not been writing. And for some reason i feel like typing lots today!:D Ahaha.

Umm.. A lot of people has asked me why I write for my MSN personal message "Soul Searching" or even my blog title "in Search".

Ahmad asked, "still lost?" ahaha. So mean of him>_<

hmm. Maybe i am lost. A lil. I mean, sometimes I wish I have my future planned out. Not necessarily every single detail but I wish at least some general stuffs so that I know which way I'm heading and like.. when I'm 100 years old, I won't look back and say: I wish I had an aim. Like for example my dad, he's planned out things even until he's 99. Seriously, I don't know anyone who is as meticulous of a planner as my dad. He can even memorise dates and days and has already every single day of this year planned out. Every weekend booked. It is amazing. How I wish I can be like that sometimes.

Ahmad says that our aim in life would change as time goes on because our views and opinions would change too...

I know that I want to study medicine. And after that I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe work? maybe settle down? Maybe work for NGOs? Or i wish i can look further than that... But still I'm not so sure. Another person I know who always got her future planned out is Iman Azman:P getting married to a white guy.. living in vienna.. becoming a journalist.. I wonder (and am amazed!) at how certain people just have that 'sure-ness' feeling like: YES that's what i want! And i'm gonna work my all to get it!

Sigh.. someone please advice me on what to do>_<

~nadhirah
eight o nine post meridiem
eleventh april two thousand eight

New Post

Sorry for the lack of a better title:P ahaha. Oh well, some people has been asking me if I've updated my blog yet.. or subtly hint: "u've not updated ur blog in a while.." ahaha. Yes2 i get what you mean:P

Anyways, by right, i should talk about my Graduation Day and Dinner. But it's been so loong and quite tiring and at the same time I'm quite relieved that it's over in the sense that there's no more of that apprehensive feeling whether things will go right or not. I mean, I'm glad that it went well. A lot of smiles and tears in the day... but overall, it was good:)

Ahmad says this holiday will be like.. my last ever holiday, thus i must enjoy it:P Ahaha. Oh well, during my Form 5 when I was having my exams, Kausar introduced me to One Litre of Tears, this japanese drama and it's like.. on every Saturday evening. And I couldn't quite follow it because either I had plans or something and when I watched it, I was already halfway through the series.. Ahaha. So I told myself that I would be patient and watch all the dramas I want after my Form 5. After my IGCSE. Ahaha. And true enough, for these past .. umm.. Since november *gasp* I have been watching japanese, korean, taiwanese dramas. No thanks to Aki for having the dramas and making me watch them. And also for introducing me to the website!!>_< Now i have become addicted which is no good. Seriously.
So a lot of the plots are the same... I like to watch them because I guess u can say it's cute and also the way the story develops is pretty unique:P ahaha. Hmm.. u can say that it's pretty slow at some parts. I have to admit *with apologies to Aki* that I always skip to the end when I'm halfway through the drama. It's either it's really so boring and I need to know the ending. Or it's so good that I HAVE to know the ending. The suspense kills me.

THere's a PC fair coming up here and I thought of getting a Graphics Tablet due to a few reasons. One, i need to distract myself from... myself. Ahaha. From watching too many dramas and wallowing myself in selfpity:P And secondly, i told myself i would upgrade my critical thinking skills or public speaking skills and all.. but when i started to read on ahmad's critical thinking book, i absolutely cannot go on. I have no idea why. Maybe I just have no interest or maybe the book is too difficult for me that i LOSE interest. Ahaha. So i told myself I have to get at least one skill this holiday so I thought since drawing is my absolute hobby, might as well bring it up to a new level!:D My dad says fine and I have to get it with my own money since I'm working anyways. I'm the only one out of my siblings who is working at the moment. Ahaha.
Actually, it seems that my oldest bro is more excited about getting a graphics tablet than I am:P Ahaha. He did all the research and everything and even found articles and stuffs. So now I'm opting for a Wacom Intuos or a Wacom Graphire. most likely a graphire though. I'm comforting myself by saying that I would do my very best and can produce an artwork as professional as an Intuos when using a Graphire:P

I've considered getting a graphics tablet since the very beginning but I thought I wouldnt use it much because i would start University soon and it's not like I'm going to take graphics designing or anything. I'm opting for medicine and as much as I CAN do like heart diagrams and everything, i don't think medicine requires much of the use of a graphics tablet. But oh well, it's an investment. Who knows it'll come in handy some day...

So in conclusion, instead of spending hours with pencil and paper, I would be spending hours with a stylus and the computer:P ahahaha. I have only 1 more page til I finish my sketchbook!:D so it's a good err..closing? ahahaha. It took me 3 years to finish drawing in it. Ahaha. I can't help it, the paper is so nice and smooth, I just can't start drawing in it unless I feel total inspiration so that I would draw something nice. And so because of that, it's taken soo long for me to fill it up. But then someone got mad at me and so i started drawing in it no matter what, even if i don't feel total inspiration and finally, it is done:) With a mixture of my total inspired and not-so-totally inspired drawings. Ahaha.

So here, a loooong post. Chalga:D

~nadhirah
one fifty two post meridiem
eleventh april two thousand eight

Graduation Preparation

Anyunghasaeyo!:D

Who would have thought that grad preparations would take soo much work?>_< With the fundraising and decors and approvals and performance pratices and the getting-together stuffs. It is absolutely not easy, I tell you.

I was quite surprised when I found out that most schools do their graduation ceremony before they take their exams. Plus, their graduation ceremony is like.. only one event which just consists of dinner and the scroll-taking thing. Unlike ours which involves gifts, practices, two ceremonies and everything. I guess it's just trying to pull us all together to do one last thing before we go our separate ways... hihi.

As far as I can see, the preparations are okay and things are going well I suppose. But as always, you can't please everyone and by the end of the ceremony, for sure there are some things which would be unsatisfactory. I will apologize beforehand (to whom? Who knows:P ahaha) and tell them that If i try to please everyone, I will end up pleasing no one. So if most of it is good, then just focus on that. Even if something is 99% good, and 1% unsatisfactory, some people would still see that 1% more than the 99%. and when they do say that, I will say: Those who mind won't matter and those who matter won't mind. Ahaha.

I'm making excuses for myself incase something doesn't work out that night:P

In the end, i did my best.. InsyaAllah...lol.

Basyak!

~nadhirah
ten twenty nin post meridiem
twenty ninth march two thousand eight

Being brave

Pretend to be brave even when you feel you're not. You'll get through it sooner or later.

I came across this 'advice' when I was reading a book the other day at Little Olive. These weren't the exact words but the idea is somewhat similar.

I can relate this to a few experiences I had in my secondary schooling. Every year, we have Leadership or Prefect or Syabab Fattayat Camps. I really don't mind attending if not for one thing: Night Walks.

Those who had to hear my ramblings and complaints and fear of night walks would remember how scared I had been. Well, a few of my friends comforted me... a few laughed at me (LOL)...some people just aren't plain scared (I don't know how that could be). I had one friend who always make fun of my first night walk. Another friend told me ghost stories of what happened during night walks while we were on the bus towards our destination. I would be the only one freaking out and sitting far far away from them. There was only one person though who really made me feel better.. after that, my night walks became less scary.

Anyway, every time before a night walk, I would be extremely freaked out. Imagining being alone in the thick jungle... Wondering what my fate would be.. what unexpected events would happen. What if an animal jumps out? What if I get lost from the trail? What if I see 'something'? What if I slip or trip and roll down the hill and break my leg and no one can find me until the next day? My imaginations can go so wild, I would already be shaking while lining up to go for the night walk. My legs would feel like jelly and I wouldn't be able to think properly. There would be like a burst of extreme adrenaline rush.

However, I wouldn't admit to everyone that I was scared. Some juniors whenever they spoke of their fear to go, I would just say "It's okay:)" (eventhough it's not). When people would talk about how scary it is, I would just keep quiet and try to compose myself. Exercise deep breathing. Read Qur'an ayat a million times. Tell myself everything would be fine (which is always the case after every night walk). I know that there are fascilitators around the trail and that the organizers would be held seriously responsible if anything happened to me. But that didn't help at all. I remember that when I meet an 'fascilitator' on the track, when she spoke to me, I couldn't even reply properly; my voice came out all... high and more forceful than I had intended.

Ahaha. Well, after every night walk, I would feel so proud of myself for being able to make it through. And I would say: That wasn't so bad after all. And I would laugh at myself... until the next night walk.

So in conclusion! Pretend to be brave even when you're not. It really does help.

~nadhirah
eleventh march two thousand eight
nine fourteen post meridiem