How far should we go?

I was walking back with my mum after lunch just now and we crossed paths with a homeless man. I've seen him a few times in the street, walking aimlessly and sometimes puffing away. His hair is thick and bushy in all directions and he is clad in the same clothes everyday, a worn-out shirt, a kain pelekat which falls just above his knees and a pair of battered slippers. He looks like he is in his 30s.

When we saw him, we decided to take a different route to the car. I think he saw us too and then he decided to walk in the opposite direction, coincidentally away from us. I don't know if it's because he just wanted to walk elsewhere or if it was because of us.

Suddenly questions came to my mind. Why is he like that? Shouldn't we be doing something?


In the car, as I stared at him just standing outside a restaurant, I remarked to my mum, "Ummi, I feel like just sitting down with him and do a history taking. Would you let me?"

Of course, I know I am not brave enough to deal with him just by myself and asking questions. Apart from the fact that I might possibly not know what to do if he has psychiatric disorders, the other major concern would have to be the language barrier (I really have to work on my BM. It's limiting me). But my curiosity happened to be really overwhelming.

My mum looked at me, "Well, I guess you can."

I asked, "So you're okay with that? I can interview him and find out about him?"

She hesitated. "Yes you may. But I prefer if you go with someone. Preferably a male. Or a group of people. You never know if he is deranged and can possibly attack at the slightest bit of provocation."

I nodded. I wouldn't dare to go alone either. But going with a group of people can possibly scare him. The question is, is he really deranged? Or is he just normal and beneath all that is a soul hoping that a warm-hearted person would reach out to?

"Ummi, I always wonder... we see these people... how are we supposed to help them? We assume that other people will help him someway, somehow. And other people would assume that someone should and would help him. Question is, does he want to be helped? SHOULD we help him? How much responsibility should we be taking?"

Sometimes I think that yes, we should be helping as many people as possible. But helping EVERYONE you meet along the way is impossible. I'd like to think that it's okay to at least be doing SOMETHING. But is that enough?

I remember watching the video about CNN Hero Narayanan Krishnan, a humble man high on social status but has the great heart to care for the homeless people who he finds in the street. He cooks for them, cleans them, bathes them, feeds them...and I think it's just truly amazing. Honestly, I don't think I have the will to do something like that yet. InsyaAllah, striving for it and I hope that I can gain a mindset that will guide me to help anyone regardless.

After googling for Narayanan Krishnan's video, I came across the main CNN Hero website. Now who they are and how they were nominated is beside the point. But it is WHAT they are doing that warms my heart. It's exactly incredible deeds like these that we should watch when we need to get inspired.

It's one thing to feed the homeless when they really need it. But it's a whole different thing when the person you're continuously feeding is insulting you without knowing it's you. Imagine our great Prophet s.a.w. going to the street and feeding an old blind lady who liberally degrades the Prophet. When he passed away and Abu Bakar came to feed the lady, she instantly knew it was not the same man who had been feeding here. When Abu Bakar inquired how she knew, she replied that the initial person (the Prophet) had broken down the food before feeding it to her. Subhanallah.

How do I attain that kind of attribute?

Coming back to the old man I usually see in the street, sometimes (just sometimes) I wish I am a guy so that I would be more confident and have the bravery and can always help people immediately without having to have an escort/bodyguard/companion/chaperone. I mean, I'm fine with being a girl. Though it has its limits when you are slightly at a physical and safety disadvantage. Okay, digressing. Allah gave us our own advantages and disadvantages. This is just an opportunity for me to find different methods to helping people insyaAllah.

Maybe I can't help him, that man in particular. But, thank you mister, for sparking a mini-reflection of my life's goals and dreams in me.

I hope I can be a someone for the people one day.