Twenty.

Dear Ummi,

It's been exactly twenty years since you delivered me. I wonder if at that time in the labour room, you were wondering, "What will she be like in 10 years, 20 years? Will I be a good parent? Will she be a good person?"

I don't have the answers to those. Even if I have turned 20. It sounds like such a huge number already. And they say, "Once you turn 20, life will just fly by." What more since I'm taking medicine, right?

I remember there was one time I entered your room and I said, "Ummi, I'm so scared to grow up. There's a lot of bad people, bad goings-on out there." At that time, I had just read the newspaper. I really was so scared. And I don't know if I'd be able to survive living in the "real world". And you calmly replied, "Alia, the world needs good people like you to grow up."

After 20 years of living, am I a good person? I don't know. I don't think I am yet. Many blunders, mistakes I wish I could turn back time to erase and undo. Probably things you might wish too. But going back in time would also mean missing out on opportunities that happened when those shortcomings happened.

And standing where I am today, I am grateful for the way you raised me:) Sometimes I wish I can learn faster and do all the things I want to do. And you must be snickering, "Impatient Gen Y" (hehe). But I KNOW where I want to go. I know what are the things I need to do that inspires me to become a better Muslimah and I know what are the places I should be frequently associating myself with that should insyaAllah increase my iman. And for that reason, that insight, that vision, Alhamdulillah and thank you for guiding me patiently for two decades. 

Dear Ayah,

During my high school graduation, you sent me a message. You said that because you were outstation when I was born, you had planned to redeem it by always being there for me throughout the rest of my life. You've held onto that promise tightly until now.

 Ayah, if I haven't already told you this, I hope you know that you are my source of inspiration. I don't know how you do it but no matter how tired or difficult your day was, you never failed to call out my name happily whenever you pick me up to go home. My "almost-failed-exams-and-life-is-so-impossible-and-I-have-so-many-things-to-do-this-weekend" feeling completely disappears. It's just simple small things, but those inspire me the most.

Dear Ummi and Ayah,

 I turned twenty. And a very awesome 20th birthday it is. I'd update about the Twenties for Smileys project in the next post. This is about the very start of my 26th November:)

On Thursday night, I was studying CNS physio (for our assessment the next morning) with Cah. At 12am, Min, Aki and KakFiza went into the kitchen to cook maggi. And then they came out with Secret Recipe's Chocolate Indulgence with two candles! It was really so sweet!:)

Chocolate Indulgence from Min, KFiza, Aki & Cah:)
Note the CNS Physio modules around:P

The next morning, we took our test and then headed for reflection. While waiting for the reflection session and actually throughout the day, there were a lot of people who passed me donations for Twenties for Smileys!:) I was really so touched and at a loss for words whenever people passed me the donations. I don't know how to tell them how I really really appreciate their deed. May Allah bless each and every one of you:)


We had reflection and immediately after that, Amira and Zahidah came into the room singing "Happy Birthday to you~" and joined by all the M19 members!

A second unexpected surprise! 3 cakes from Secret Recipe!
Thank you M19:)

Cah, Meet, Diba, Sufi, Zedah, Mira, Aufa
Sarah, Me, Aki
My M19:)

hazelnut cheesecake

pecan butterscotch

white choc macadamia

We had a "suap-suap" session after that:)

Stevie Wangwang given and named by Mira:)

Blueberry Cheesecake from IPP MMU TMC:)

And the rest of the day was *almost* just like a normal beautiful friday:)

So yes, it turned out into the best birthday ever:) With a total amount of RM 1,180 (and still counting!) for the Twenties for Smileys!:) Alhamdulillah. Also received cards, letters, two books as a present:) One of the best birthday present was from a senior; in the form of a reminder. To still remember the right intentions as for the reason of doing T4S:)

So that's my beautiful 20th birthday:)

Lots of Love, 

Alia