Dreams.

When we set dreams and goals sometimes, what makes us think we can achieve them? What makes us think that our dreams can really be realized?

When I was clearing out the things in my wallet, I found a card tucked neatly behind my IC. I pulled it out and saw that it was a ticket to last year's Toastmasters International Speech Contest (ISC) at Division P level.

I flipped it over and saw what I wrote:

March 2009: I remember at this ISC, my dad was the champion and when I saw the trophy, I thought that it looked so shiny and pretty, I really really wanted one. It was black, cuboid, sleek and the word "Champion" shone in gold. So I wrote this goal immediately. At that time, I didn't know if I could actually ever get a champion trophy seeing all those amazing speakers (that's why I put there as "long-term" hahah). But I knew that I wanted a trophy like that (so much for striving to be non-materialistic hahah).

March 2010 ISC, I finally joined after having fulfilled the age requirement. I didn't reach all the way to representing Division. But it was already a surprising achievement for me getting Champion trophy at Area level:) I got the champion trophy I wanted. But through that process, I got to make new friends and had an accelerated learning curve in public speaking.

2008; Farah gave me a beautiful silk-wrapped diary. She wrote a little note which read: "I hope this journal will store the happiest moments in your life." It ended up as my "Book of Dreams"- filled with dreams and what I want in life. Of course, when I read it over again, I laugh at how my mind can be quite childish at the time. I remember though that I had this crazy desire of someway somehow making a difference in this world.

2009; I found the advertisement about The Smile Train and its mission of Changing the World One Smile At A Time through providing funds for corrective surgery for children with cleft lip and palate.

2010: Raised funds, went to India and personally delivered the funds as well as the banner which donors signed on to the Charles Pinto Department for Cleft Lip and Palate. Met Dr Hirji Adenwalla :) I got to make the difference like what I wanted.

When I think it over, I realize that it is because I have been blessed to be able to be achieving all this. Main factors include:

(a) Immensely supportive parents & siblings

(b) Supportive friends & environment

(c) Money provided

(d) Lots of doa'

I remember in Secondary 4, my bio & physics teacher, Teacher Muthla told us that we should write down our dreams (specifically with a wooden pencil). I had written them down with no particular indomitable spirit or passion but just as something that I "wanted". Slowly though, I see that if something we just write can materialize, what about something that we write, plan for, create an action plan and truly believe in? Surely it will be a greater dream, one with more risks and hurdles, colossal challenges, but satisfying results and outcome.

I love watching people who KNOWS what they want in life and are working towards them with their whole heart and soul put into what they do. I personally know two people who have such great dreams:

1. Iman Azman. Since our secondary school days, she talks about what she wants to be, what she wants to achieve, while most of us are so focused on the present. I realize just how important it is to visualize what you want and keep remembering them everyday. Her dream from 11 years old of wanting to enter Carleton University in Canada and taking up journalism has been fulfilled. She is an Honour student:)

2. Mohd Waqiyuddin. Only having been acquainted for just a few months but I am truly impressed with the dreams that he holds. A final year medical student but with high goals and an amazing unshaken belief and determination of achieving those dreams:)

He told me, "Alia, focus on your dreams please!"

Sometimes I think and wonder; what IS my dream? Do I have something I want to so greatly work passionately for? Have I found it? Have I not? I have goals; but for now they seem to be so short-term.

I do understand we need to gain Allah's pleasure . But through what means would I be getting them? Some people write books, some people hold seminars, some work toward a cause, some work; these are all forms of ibadah. Similarly, I'm searching for what I can do in this line.

He told me, "It takes time. You need to meet great people, read more. and then you will know." In the end, I'm frustrated myself to say that I have not yet precisely found what I want to achieve so badly in life. Something to keep pondering over.

What I do know is that, if you have a dream, please find people who will support you. Tell others, share your dreams, and most importantly WRITE them down. Look at them from time to time. Because sometimes your mind wanders, your heart wavers because your dreams are challenged with risks and falls that make you lose sight of your aims. You need to just have a glance at what you write and realize again that -YES-, this is what you want. Work for it with your heart, please.