Inactive

Due to personal reasons, this blog will no longer be active. Reactivating might be considered depending on upcoming situations.

Any inconvenience (though I highly doubt there will be) is deeply regretted.

Never neglect...

... your love ones.

Okay listen up all you budding and wanna-be doctors. Here's the deal. When you become wanna become a doctor, you've got to be prepared that your life is gonna be one hectic one and you've got to be able to juggle time for your priorities. BALANCE! You have to know that. And you've got to learn to deal with it. In your quest to help others, firstly don't forget to help people who are closest to you- by being there for them.

But... when we do slip up sometimes, we, as the to-be-medical practitioners, hope that our love ones will understand our situation and forgive us. Please...?

April til May

I've been learning a lot lot from the past week. The greatest teacher being "making mistakes". Sometimes to be learnt so very painfully. When people say, "No pain no gain" it's of course easier said than done...

Musculoskeletal 3rd Week Assessment: UmiAyah, results for 3rd week improved from 2nd week because I THINK i prioritized a little better... but not according to how i wanted. But Alhamdulillah anyway. Next week I'll do better!:)

Last minute browsing through mindmaps and notes before exam haha

Plans for end of April til May:

27th April: Palestine Awareness Campaign opening ceremony. alhamdulillah, so very happy with the outcome of the decorations and information board that we spent from 12pm til 730pm decorating and setting up last friday:) I'm happy to be working with extremely committed people. In terms of management and planning, any shortcomings purely from the leadership. I need to attend an Event Management Seminar *anyone knows, let me know!* It's harder than I thought; especially in terms of communication... A lot of areas of improvement for me:) Lot lot lot.

Sneak Peek X)

28th April: Mandarin Exam! *emotionless*

1st-2nd May: Al-Kauthar Mercy to the World Seminar. It's the same day as the Drama Night and the Kursus Kahwin. So, sorry to the people who invited me to both:P My mom has booked me for the seminar 3 months in advance so there's no way I can be excused haha.

7th May: Musculoskeletal Final Exam.

8th May: Iman's?:)

We need new photos la, darlings:)

10th May: Cardiovascular Block begins. Final block for 1st year.

14th-15th May: Outing with M16?

15th May: MMU TMC Icebreaking Marathon (a membership campaign), organizing together with James and Ariff. We had a meeting a few days back and James wrote down all the minutes. We were laughing and chitchatting here and there but when he emailed the minutes, it was so very detailed. Up to the point of someone's agreement through the phone, who will invite who etc. Extremely impressed with you detailed and meticulous work, James. Learnt a lot from that and the importance of writing down every single detail.

19th May: PAC Closing Ceremony.

21st-23rd May: ISC Toastmasters Convention in Miri. Was set to go but since it begins on Thursday, everyone is going on thursday night. But I have exam on Friday morning (aggghhhh friday morning again?!?!?). So since I've got no one to go with, my daddy says just to stay in cyber:(

now til June: Basic Life Support (BLS) Training School Tour; discussing/designing/meeting/commenting/suggesting/presenting etc etc for the upcoming Basic Life Support program to take place in June. Learning a lot from Waqi in terms of importance of proposal writing and management + planning of event, and suddenly very interested in discovering photoshop's capabilities after having a 5-minute Q&A with shahril. Apparently I've not fully tapped into photoshop's full potential yet (or maybe I'm so biased with Flash MX). He's amazing with photoshop!

Ahh. When I was so tired and stressed out, my dad dropped by Cyberjaya and him telling me his extremely busy day but with an extremely excited smiling animated face just left me so in awe and greatly impressed with his underlying message of: regardless the amount of work, face each with enthusiasm! April May, June and the rest of the days, months and years to come, here comes Alia Nadhirah!:)

On Fighting

We had PBL (problem based learning) and this session to me makes us feel most like a doctor (apart from CST). It's where we are given a case, with clues and we have a discussion with our group and diagnose the patient with the signs and symptoms that we have.

The facilitator of our PBL, at the end of the discussion, (on a completely different note) told us that being a doctor, it is extremely important to look closely (she said it slightly differently but I can't exactly recall now). For example there was a case she faced whereby a surgeon cut out the colon of a patient because the patient had abnormal bleeding in his lower abdomen which did not seem to stop. Only after the operation did they find out that there were worms in the intestines which would have been easily treated with antibiotics... and there was actually no need for the surgery.

In relation, I was reading a back called "Better: a surgeon's notes on performance" by Atul Gawande, and one of the chapters I flipped to was "on fighting".

It was essentially about; how far would a doctor go? How far SHOULD a doctor keep pushing? When pushing can mean detrimental effects. But not pushing can mean lack of commitment. In the above case, the surgeon may have been trying so hard and in his effort, felt that removing the intestines was the best course of action.

When you keep pushing, it means you're not giving up and you want to find a cure to the patient, does it not? It did spark some curiosity in me. Ethical questions; which ultimately have no concrete, statistical answers to. The solution is found with the heart. And more importantly, as many forget, the solution should be guided by Allah.

I like how the writer put it:

In the end, no guidelines can tell us what we have power over and what we don't. In the face of uncertainty, wisdom is to err on the side of pushing, to not give up. But you have to be ready to recognize when pushing is only ego, only weakness. You have to be ready to recognize when the pushing can turn to harm.

In a way, our task is to "Always Fight." But our fight is not always to do more. It is to do right by our patients, even though what is right is not always clear.

In the end, it's always for the patient's best interest at heart, is it not?

Personal reminder for those clinical years.

Delightful failures

Dear Ummi Ayah,

It's embarrassing to admit that I almost failed my second week musculoskeletal assessment (a more positive way of saying it would be that I barely passed). Medic is tough. Some of the factors due to my mind being elsewhere, I was feeling a little under the weather and some of which I have discussed with Ayah. In fact, I knew that I wasn't fully prepared just before the exam and right after the exam discussion, I knew that I hadn't done that well.

I know at times I get so worried sick and scared if I might fail my exam. I know in an attempt to boost my self confidence, Ummi you would say, "What's the worst that can happen? You'd just have to repeat:) And there's this one guy who had to repeat three times but in the end, he became a doctor still."

Ummi, I don't want to repeat. I remember Prof Hatta's speech on my first day in CUCMS. He said; "Do it right the first time." Make sure that whatever we do, we do it to the best of our capabilities so that we don't have to redo it.

Something amazing and unexpected happened after my exam though. Instead of feeling depressed, dejected and moody, Allah gave me the semangat and right after my exam, I was so fired up to do even better in my third week assessment! I set to go to the library and finished up my next week's assignments on Friday itself and proceeded to constructing a timetable to revise the previous weeks' topics and to read up next week's topics in advance. I'm going to focus in every class (with the help of Basirah:P). At times, I did find it perplexing... but Alhamdulillah I'm glad that I have that intrinsic motivation.

It's not a big thing that happened; but that feeling of suddenly wanting to prove to myself that I can actually do way better than this taught me something great.

Sometimes we need failures to achieve greater things:)

Ummi Ayah, I know you'd love me all the same whether I fail or not:) And I'm so lucky to have parents who are so supportive. Funny, as a child I've never seen you guys fail; but I know we feel like we're failing a lot of the times.

I'd like people to know that if and when they fail, it's okay to feel down. But not for too long because you've got to get up quickly and make plans on how to succeed. Take failing as a step toward success!:D

I'm reading "You, Inc. The art of selling yourself" by Harry Beckwith and I love how they phrased one of the chapters: Successes and delightful failures.

Pray I do better and when I meet you this weekend, I'll be excited to tell you all about my exam:)

Lots of love from your awesome and only daughter,

Alia

Withdraw

Tomorrow is the Public Speaking Competition Semi-Finals.

I'm a contestant. I was a contestant.

I withdrew.

My musculoskeletal exam is tomorrow at 8am til 9am in Cyberjaya. I'm first speaker at 9am at Kota Damansara.

I talked it out with the college if they can support me in informing the organizers that I will be havig an exam so that I may appeal to be final speaker. They did help out. I would have needed a signature from the president or the dean. But then they said I'd need support from the block coordinator. Then they said that perhaps I should appeal to take the exam earlier (musculoskeletal earlier?!?!) It's too late anyway.

In the end, I decided that this week was just too hectic. I talked it out with my parents and they say prioritize studies. Talked it out with a friend and they said, "Which is more important? Your exam only comes once." I have a project to handle together with studies... Sometimes you just have to let go. Week after week after week of giving speeches infront of many has left me a little dizzy. I don't mind giving the speeches -honestly. The most difficult part is hours/minutes/seconds BEFORE the speech itself. The anticipation and cold feet and shaking hands and million butterflies. InsyaAllah there will be future speaking opportunities- but I don't want to fail this exam.

I feel really bad because I should have looked ahead and made sure I had nothing important on any of the level competitions. Now someone who has the passion and amazing speaking ability at the audition was not chosen because of me. And that person could be presenting their speech tomorrow and moving the hearts of thousands of others. I feel bad.

Nicol, you would most probably pound me for this (but since I can't make it on Friday, you probably can't haha). But just so you know, this is an EXTREMELY difficult decision to make. It took a lot of thinking, energy, sighs... Thanks for believing in me anyway. You do your ultimate best tomorrow aite?:)

Evie sent the sweetest message ever: Although you can't go to the public speaking tomorrow, your talent is still there and I strongly believe that with your talent, you not only manage to go to london next time, instead to the moon. Chaiyok!:)

It's like she's saying I can impress NASA to send me to the moon:P hehe. No lahh. It's got to do with aiming to the stars (but having in the same sentence as London does it make sound interesting). Thanks anyway Evie!

Another decision made. One that I felt was the best to choose at that/this time. Not one I will ever regret.

Division C International Speech Contest

To my beloveds in Tokyo,

Ummi Ayah, the Division C International Speech Contest has got to be the most action-packed drama. Not during the contest itself but before it.

Angah and I set off from home at 1pm (eventhough I know we wanted to go out at 1230pm and the contest would begin at 2pm). I thought Angah knew the way but at the porch, we were still working the GPS searching for the Federal Highway. Of course, you know how "crazy" and misunderstanding the GPS can be especially at KL roads. So, I don't know how to relay the story but cut short, we somehow ended up at Bukit Bintang downtown KL area (somewhere there) but basically it was all a really huge jam and one way road and Angah said, "Honestly, I don't know where we are now." This was at 120pm.

Because we couldn't call you all the way in Japan, I called up Zahid who was still at home and he pinpointed our location with Google Map and also with the help of his mom (thank you Auntie Mariati!). So, we managed to get out of the horrendously jam-packed KL area and voila, reached Bangsar (which of course Angah knows very well considering it is close to his college) and we were on our way to the Federal Highway! This was at 140pm.

James called me up and said (in a lil panicked yet calm manner): "Alia, the contest chair says that all participants need to be here by 2pm or else they will be disqualified." (Angah said: "What? They can't disqualify you until your name is read out." I said, "Are you going to argue with the contest chair?!?") I said; "Okay, I'm at the Federal Highway now." He said; "What? You're at the Federal Highway?? Haha." I said; "Can you do whatever you can to stall the competition?" (lol). He said; "Okay, drive fast but drive safe." This was at 145pm.

I wasn't freaking out. In fact, I was awfully calm. I thought; it's okay if I'm disqualified- probably God has different plans. Angah was quite stressed and he said: "We're not gonna make it." Then Pei Leng called me up and said, "Alia, don't panic. Where are you now?" I said; "Haha I'm not in a panic, Pei Leng. I'm still on my way." She said, "Okay, please hurry up. The event begins at 2:15pm but all contestants need to be here." This was at 2:00pm.

Pei Leng messaged me: "Are you at UMW?" I said, "No." Angah said: "... You'r going to be disqualified." We just entered Shah Alam. This was at 2:10pm.

Then we saw the UMW! But there were about 5 buildings! Angah said: "Message Pei Leng and say you're almost there!" We followed the map and went into UMW Holdings. I jumped out of the car and was about to head to the entrance when I heard, "Alia ALIA! It's the opposite building!!!" I turned around and saw Pei Leng, pink in the face and gesturing frantically in the opposite direction. So I ran there and she said breathlessly to me: "The auditorium is a bit far, but follow the signs!" I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, my mind was numb, my breath was fast and choked. And I thought: "Please please let me make it." This was at 2:14pm.

I ran straight into the auditorium and heard the SAA beginning the formalities. I ran to the registration counter and met Valli (organizing chair). She glanced at me and said, "Ah, there you are." She let me to the contest chair (can't remember his name but I think Area C4 Governor) to show that I was there. Taufeeq came up to me smiling to pass me the Eligibility Form but I had already filled it up and just passed it to the contest chair. My hands were shaking and I was still breathing hard. I saw my name was the second speaker. And then the contest chair said: "Ok."

I felt like dropping to the floor but I managed to grab a drink of water to quench my thirst and dry throat. I walked shakily to the audience seat and Rosalind (District Public Relations Officer) shook my hand hard and patted my back. James saw me and put on the "Yay!! \(^-^)/ You're here!" face. Angah came in and gestured to know what's the status. I grinned at him and mouthed, "Second speaker." He smiled satisfied and took a seat.

I then sat next to James and he said, "Alia, this has got to be the most dramatic Div C contest ever." I looked beside him and saw Foong, Pei Leng, Tejinder, Yvonne and Walia all giving me smiles and thumbs-up. I grinned.

Seconds later, the contest chair started the event.

Later during break time, I found out that many maaaannyyyy people had gone out of their way to ensure that I managed to not be disqualified for my tardiness. James talked to the contest chair, Taufeeq said he'd hold on to my eligibility form so that I would immediately sign it; and he said he left the rest to God. Rosalind even chipped in a word for me. Foong had told Pei Leng to wait outside so that I would find the way. Valli in the end said: "Alia, don't be late next time. We had to stall it just for you." I smiled sheepishly.

I had delivered my "Ordinary people, Extraordinary miracles" speech; which as you know is about the power of helping people; and we, normal people, might actually be performing miracles. I didn't win nor did I get top three. (1st place was Stephen Fernando! Angah said my voice was a bit too excited -probably because I hadn't fully calmed down since the 400m dash!- and Taufeeq said the delivery was "less" than the the previous one I had given at Area C1 contest). But in the end, people congratulated me and said that it was a good speech.

The best thing that happened was that the Chief Judge (I can't remember his name; he's an Indian and I think he's around 50 or 60 years old) personally came up to me, looked me in the eyes, shook my hand firmly and said seriously, "Alia, thank you for your speech. You tremendously inspired me." All I could manage was, "Really?" And he nodded. Behind him, Angah was doing a thumbs-up crazy wild jig.

It started raining heavily, pouring cats and dogs, but I was happily skipping on the puddles because eventhough I had not won anything, having known that I "tremendously inspired" someone was -really- even better than a trophy. It was priceless.

It's the best lesson I've learnt from the Div C contest. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I hope you're proud of me that way, Ummi and Ayah:)

Missing you so much! Keep yourselves warm over there:)

Lots of Love,

Alia.

BURSA Malaysia II

pictures courtesy of Uncle Azul. Thank you Uncle:)

Just as I was about to head on stage (as the emcees were reading out my biodata), I looked at Uncle Azul, smiled enthusiastically (because I was about to head on stage), and he snapped the photo:)

"What you want -your dreams- and when you get it, that is success. Success is achieving your dreams. And it is your dreams that you have to chase!"

The "Dream" words I brought from home (bought from New Zealand) since my speech WAS about "Chasing your Dreams." It puts a nice touch to it I think.

Talked about how the Smile Train project is one of my dreams:)

I look like I'm unsatisfied with something:P

Shaking hands with the Chief Financial Officer; she asked me if I'm sure I don't want to be a lawyer.

A picture with the lovely Liyana; a high achiever award recipient:)

BURSA Malaysia

YAYASAN BURSA MALAYSIA

2010 EXCELLENCE AWARDS PRESENTATION CEREMONY

Friday, 2 April 2010

Listing Gallery, Exchange Square, Bukit Kewangan

Programme

2.45pm Arrival of guests

3.00pm “ Chasing Your Dreams “ Talk and sharing of experience by

Cik Alia Nadhirah bte Ahmad Fakhri, Toastmaster

First year medical undergraduate at Cyberjaya University College of Medical Sciences (CUCMS)

3.20pm Awards presentation by

Dato’ Yusli Mohammed Yusoff

Chief Executive Officer, Bursa Malaysia Berhad

3.45pm Group Photography Session

4.00pm Refreshments

4.30pm End
___________________________________________________________

Grace from MIM KL Toastmasters Club recommended my name to the OC to give a speech when BURSA Malaysia was searching for a speaker for the Excellence Awards Presentation Ceremony. It's a ceremony to acknowledge the children of the staff who achieved excellent results in their UPSR, PMR, SPM or STPM; it is pride to have the students to be achieving so well because they are the future of our country- as how the CEO puts it.

Well, I was very nervous, I have to admit. I practiced that morning but after a while, I realized I should just go impromptu and remember the key points. When I arrived, my heart fell. It was a HUGE semi-circle stage, and there were around 8 round tables around... So the stage set was a bit difficult to maintain eye contact and make full use of the stage. I talked about what to expect after secondary 5, my life story and about the Smile Train, and also about the one thing in life that you need to succeed: Passion.

A funny thing happened... The organizer of the event called me around 2 weeks ago and set all the details and everything and what I should talk about. Whenever I had questions, I just messaged him anytime by phone and he replied. Only last night did I check my gmail and found all his emails plus the itinerary and the questions he asked me; and when I scrolled down, I read his title: Senior Manager. I goggled at the status. I slapped by forehead recalling the times I decorated my messages with smileys, bubbliness and exclamation marks. Haha. I met him today anyway- he's a very pleasant man.

I'm not actually sure if I managed to get my message across because people were a lil fazed out - maybe because it was a Friday afternoon. But after my speech, people congratulated me and expressed how impressed they were- I take that as a good sign. A lot of the staff asked me how I could be speaking so well (well, that's according to them, I felt that I didn't meet my own expectations in terms of an exceptionally delivered speech- in fact, I hesitated for a while because I totally blanked out on my last point), and I told them: Toastmasters. So I promoted Toastmasters to them and told them about how their objective is to make "effective communication a worldwide reality". I think they were pretty much impressed that they even wanted to make a Toastmasters Club in BURSA Malaysia. Yay!:D

Liyana on the left and me. She's one of the high achievers and is Auntie Tim's daughter. Auntie Tim drove me to BURSA and Liyana helped to take the pictures while I was speaking- thank you sweetie:)

Best thing was what they gave me as a token of appreciation! I mean, it IS the first time I've ever received a token of appreciation as a speaker. I wasn't actually expecting anything. When the Chief Financial Officer presented it to me, she said: "You're so good at speaking. Are you sure you don't want to be a lawyer?" I smiled and said, "I'm absolutely sure I want to be a doctor."

Anyway, boy they've really outdone themselves. Not only did I get BURSA Malaysia's merchandise but best of all -*drum roll*- they gave me a RM150 MPH BOOKSTORE Voucher! I love BURSA Malaysia! Thank you! Yay! Book shopping spree!

I promoted CUCMS , I promoted Toastmasters, I got to know BURSA Malaysia. Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah, it all went smoothly:)

Award recipients plus their parents. CEO of BURSA in the middle (the man with the coat and all).