RM1k

I went to MIM to take a picture for the Smile Train. Richard came up to me and asked how much I've raised. I said I've reached RM 895. He said, "Just tell me how much you need and I'll round it up to RM1000." Grace and Deepak too contributed. So that's how I managed to reach the RM 1000 mark.

Siraj said: Kak Alia, I want to donate too. He gave me all his savings. I was absolutely at a loss for words. My youngest little brother. Kak Alia is so very proud of you. You make my heart quiver with so so much pride. I love you:)

When I started this project, all I thought was that I wanted the world to have an extra smile. Little did I know that I'd be seeing so much more; and find myself having the widest smiles because of the kind hearts I've seen.

:)

Smile Train Donation at Adni

Today.

Today has been long. And since days begin at 12am, there is where I shall start.

But we shall backtrack a little. The day before, I submitted a letter to the headmaster of my secondary school, asking for permission if I can run a Donation Drive for the Smile Train. I got the approval with the help of my brother. Thanks Safi:) I asked if I can give a speech during the next day's morning assembly and also open a booth with a donation box plus the banner where everyone can sign on after donating.

So, at 12am, I was doing the donation box. (I don't know HOW it can take so long but I finally finished it at 1am.) I went downstairs for a break and ended up having a sharing session with my brother until 230am talking about the purpose of life. When I finally dozed off to sleep at 3am (yes, I slept at 3am), I was still apprehensive because I have not yet practiced my speech. At 5am, I awoke and remembered that I have to go to Cyberjaya to pick up the banner which I left at my apartment. I fell back asleep a few times until 5:45am when my dad said "Alia, we have to go now." After only having ONE sleep cycle, I got into the car like a zombie carrying my script. We reached back in KL at 7am, and I was just in time to get ready by 720am which was the time we had to shoot off to school. And that was just the start.

Assembly began at 8am. I gave my speech; but I have to be truthful and say that was not my complete best. To be honest, I lost the structure in my head halfway. I really honestly wish I could have given my ultimate best. I felt so bad after that because I did not do my audience justice by giving a speech less awesome than what I can normally deliver- with passion, conviction and confidence.

But Mashallah, Ustaz Muallimin and Teacher Fatin must have overlooked it because they announced that they were very proud of what I'm doing. Mostly, I just felt so touched that EVERYONE was being extremely supportive and telling me to keep up the work and effort. Teacher Selina said: Alia, you're doing such a gracious work. One guy even donated thrice (I'm sorry, I don't know your name, kind sir)! It was just such an amazing sight; people practically queuing to donate! Truthfully, sometimes I feel a little unsure actually ASKING people for money, it does make me rethink What exactly am I doing? But when I see the generous hearts and warm gestures, it teaches me: People are kindhearted when it comes to charity. It's what you can feel -a truly heartfelt feeling- only if you are running that donation drive.

Perhaps one of the most surprising things people hear would be the flight to Kerala; the other answer which always receives another surprised reaction is when I say, "It's my personal project.":)

Admittedly, I was tired, I was hungry, a little cranky from lack of sleep and loss of mental coordination- but when my mom came at 130pm and said, "Your banner is filled up!", that completely changed my mood and brightened my day:)

Alhamdulillah, the total amount from Adni was a WHOOPING RM 537.93 (I even got SGD, USD and Baht!). So, a huge HUGE thanks from me to all teachers, staff and students of Adni! You all have been extremely wonderful!

No words, absolutely NO WORDS can express the ultimate joy I feel. And that's because the best news have yet to come! Here goes:

In total with the previous donation, it's a total of RM 822.93! I was already jumping with joy and screaming out: It's ALMOST reached the cost of ONE FULL SURGERY! (RM 843.47) When my brothers said: Alia, we want to donate. (Of course, not at the same time). They added RM 73 and the total now is RM 895.93!!! I. Couldn't. Breathe.

When I first started out, they said aim low. Aim for RM 400+ (cost of half a surgery). But after today, I achieved something I never thought I could! I felt so intoxicated.

I feel really really really happy that more and more people know about it, more and more people donate to it. At the same time though, I feel that the amanah is getting heavier and heavier each time... It's not over yet. Get your feet back on earth, Alia. Another 114 days til Kerala.

Til then, please pray for me that every step will be guided by Allah.

apam balik

We were in the car on the way to Janda Baik, waiting for my mom to purchase the Apam balik when Ahmad decided to play around.

He took out a fruit and said: Hey guys, look at this new and improved apam balik.

Syarif: That's jambu batu laaaa.

We all started laughing.

Ahmad: Haha it's NOT a jambu batu. Do u know what jambu batu LOOKS like?!?! This is a mango!

Ayah *just got into the car* : It's NOT mango!

Siraj: It's mangosteen!

Alia: Ayaaah! Guess what happened just now! Angah said that it's a new type of janda baik!

More laughter.

Safi: Angah said it was apam balik la. Not janda baik.

Ayah: Haha. Well, it's an exotic pineapple. *we laugh laugh and laugh*. Sorry, I meant it's an exotic papaya.

And a papaya it was:)

ISC Post-mortem

It's not over yet.

Somehow, having my microbiology finals just before the international speech contest was a little too much. I did write the speech 5 days beforehand but never did I polish or refine it til the night before. Neither did I get to practice it at least a few times. Well, I found out just how much I had to improve AFTER giving that speech. I had a lot of feedback from a lot lot lot of people. After the competition, I attended the Winning Speech Forum by Division W; watching 4 world champion speakers really evoked a lot of emotions and motivation for me to recraft a better speech.

Thank God I have another chance at Area C1 in March.

Anyway, here's my self-evaluation according to the judging criteria:

Content 50%: This is where I lost big time. My speech had the values I guess- it was about family (theme) and the message was Love your family. But the ENDING- OoOoh that fateful ending. EVERYONE told me that my momentum at the beginning was good good good and BAM! At the end, it just went downhill with a very awkward closing. I did not mean a very strange ending; I was trying a technique but I guess it backfired. Plus I didn't have a good contrast or a really emotion-evoking supporting material.

Delivery 30% : Insufficient drama and emotions- I guess my body language didn't enhance my message enough. I was most unhappy with my voice. I endeavored to project it to the back of the room and I thought I had done an okay job. But people said my voice was too soft (TOO SOFT?!?!). I learnt that men sound more authoritative because of their low pitch voice. Now I'm practicing to reverberate the sound so that my voice will have a lower pitch to it- to sound more authoritative that is. It has that certain convincing effect on the audience.

For some reason, I think I also lacked passion. That ability to talk with such sincerity and project your utter belief in a topic. I could have, should have- but I didn't. Microbe must have made me think so minute (hah let microbiology be my scapegoat for this!).

I watched World-champion Otis Junior and he was just PHENOMENAL. When he quoted Theodore Roosevelt, he said it with such conviction, at a fast-paced rhythm, and synchronized movements, I found that I had practically stopped breathing that very moment. I was so mesmerized in fact that I found myself exhaling only after his performance. After the panelist evaluated him, only did I find out that there is a technique called the Rapid Fire Technique where it's like you talk quick and rapidly to sort of hypnotize your audience. I fell victim. But it was just AMAZING.

Language 20%: One of the best speeches I've watched with marvelous English usage was by Jim Key. He uses really powerful words like: "monumental choices", "accidental heroes", "ultimate decision". Remember to use at least one WOW word (I should search for the list of 100 beautiful words that Najah showed me). After my speech, Daniel Teh approached me and said that my English was okay and everything- it's just the choice of words that needs to be chosen properly because "Words have power." I will remember that.

It was quite overwhelming for me today. A lot of advice, feedback, constructive criticism and suddenly possibilities as well as being inspired and motivated. Sometimes people think it's so easy to craft a speech; they say: Oh this thing is missing, you should have done this, you could have done that. But you won't know what to do til you actually sit down to write it. You get stuck. You want to think of that perfect-winning speech.

I know this is my first time in the ISC. And my dad DID say that I shouldn't be expecting too much. This moment is about gathering experience and getting better.

I've got a little less than two months now to craft that speech. Recrafting it is going to start today. It's going to be different, PHENOMENAL and AWESOME! Phew. And now to get started...

here it is, world.

What are you grateful for?

Tell yourself.

Who do you appreciate?

Tell them.

Who and what inspires you?

Tell the world.

The other day Evelyn texted me and asked what exactly it was that pushed me forward to do these kind of things (eg Smile Train). Was it concern for others? Was it just some kind of intrinsic motivation?

Well, truth be told, there are a lot of things which push me forward. Part of the reason I'm for this cause is because it's about making MORE people smile- like LITERALLY. And me being a firm believer of Smiling makes you a happier person (as quoted by Alia Nadhirah), I feel like it's something worth contributing toward. That was my little push.

But I think the number one thing -the even BIGGER push- that makes me REALLY inspired to do these things would be: My parents.

When I first read about the smile train, my dad got even MORE excited about it than me. I only had a sparked interest but HE was practically halfway toward Jupiter already what with his ideas and seemingly-endless energy. And my mom exclaimed that "It's such a wonderful idea!".

I may have never said it out loud but of course there were times when I felt like giving up. When I first wrote to Dr Hirji, I didn't write right away. I stalled and procrastinated because I was searching for exactly the perfect words to say- which of course would result to me never writing it. But my dad relentlessly pushed me to write the email. When I was too shy to go forward with my cause, my mom went and contacted all her contacts to make my cause known. When I wasn't sure how to get to the exact location, my dad went around asking people what was the best possible method to travel there. When I wanted to give my speech at MIM, I actually couldn't because there were no available speaking slots- but my mom gave up HER speaking slot just so that I can talk.

So in all ways, yes, they ARE my inspiration.

Not only were my parents supportive, but everyone who heard about it wished me good luck and supported me in soo many more ways than one!:)

So what makes me inspired to do all this? Maybe it's about me trying to make my parents proud. Maybe it's about trying to prove myself. Maybe it's about fulfilling my dreams of making a difference in the world...

Whatever it is, you can believe in something, you can want to work for a cause, but only with support and motivation will it bring you to greater heights. Or at least that's what I believe:)

happy!

I am so happy right now. I'm elated, over the moon, on TOP of the WORLD! I feel so intoxicated with this feeling of joy and I can't help holding a suppressed smile even as I walk- and I could even FEEL the springs in my steps! I could have probably powered 10 houses with the amount of energy I was holding.

Weird thing is, I don't even know why.

I mean, there was no one big thing that happened like someone coming up to me and saying: Alia, I'm going to donate RM 846.99 to your cause! or someone found the cure to AIDS and let me be the first person to know. Nope, nothing of the sort.

At first I thought that; some days, you just feel so tired and lazy and lethargic and you don't feel like doing anything at all- and just sleep. And perhaps this is one of those days where you feel just so energetic and ebullient and you feel like if the whole world were to weigh on your shoulders, you'd just shout: BRING IT ON! But I do hope the whole world will not come crashing down onto my little shoulders... That would be scary.

Anyway, when I think back over what happened today, I think it has got to be the little things which accumulated to this delight.

I woke up later than I wanted- I hadn't even looked through my topic for the day and SHOULD be worrying. Instead I was smiling as I got ready and was even calm when I had my breakfast. Looked through the slides for today and managed to magically conjure up the mindmap for the morning's topic- Immunology. Mind you, immunology has got to be one of the most headache-inducing topics. There are just SO many microscopic heroes in your body and having their own little yet amazing ways of saving your life.

I could actually follow the lessons so I felt really happy about that. Alina showed me (or rather twirled and modeled infront of me) her EXTREMELY impressively self-sewn baju kurung. I am still in awe of her skills and the masterpiece she has come up with:) Never knew you could do something like that, Ina. At the same time, I'm not surprised you've come up with it;) Consider lahh to make one for your dear Alia:P

Anyway, for some reason during the second class I started feeling extremely jittery and was quite shaky from hunger; which was really strange because sometimes even when I don't have my breakfast, I wouldn't feel that hungry. So I had to have lunch- alone. At first I was a bit down because I hate having lunch alone; but I found it as an opportunity to craft my speech for the ISC (international Speech contest) which would be held THIS Saturday. At first I was stuck staring a lot into space. I texted Ahmad: Crafting my speech. Stuck. He replied: Same. That did not help. I was hoping that him finishing off his speech would immediately boost my mental state into writing up a speech as well!

Anyway, after I finished my meal and mentally replayed Dwayne Smith's (he's the champion for the ISC in 2002) speech, my mind just clicked! I mean, his speech was so simple that I was able to follow the contents AND recall what he was talking about. So it got me writing furiously and adding the empty spaces. I texted Ahmad again and gloated: I got my outline!! He replied: :'( gonna find inspiration by eating. Lol.

In the computer lab, I was so excited that I typed so fast that Aki asked: Alia, what on EARTH are you doing typing so fast?!?!

I wrote my speech all in one go- but of course would need refining. I mean, after 5 months of incubating and thinking up of a good speech, I finally found one 5 days before the competition.

Nothing could dampen my spirit. I mean, I was practically on air. Even when Prof Hamdan walked by me and said; "Ummm you're Najah is it?" I laughed and said: I'm Alia:) funny, he always calls Najah as Najwa and when he sees me will call me Najah.

I met two kids on the bus and smiled at THEM too. They must think I'm weird. Haha. When I wanted to get off the bus, a gentleman was at the doorway and he politely gestured me to exit first. When I was walking the guards shouted "Panas laa!" and offered me to use their bicycle. I'm not so sure if they were serious or not- considering I was in a skirt. But they didn't use some kind of disgusting flirtatious tone so I just smiled and thanked them for the offer. And walked back home.

I must find the cause of this intrinsic happiness so I can bring it out again during my time of utter despair and extreme depression. Maybe I've found inner peace. Or maybe I was ignorant- it is after all -sometimes- bliss.

Ah, whatever it is, let it be. I'm enjoying the day as it is. It's only been half the day. Hopefully the best have yet to come:)