purpose

By the end of the first block in CUCMS (which is around 1 month after entering 1st year), I was kinda getting restless with the lack of activities I was involved in. I wanted to do things, organize events, discuss problems, find resolutions and meet with people...

Little did I know that I would be involved in a lot.

I think especially since last week I started getting myself into too many things and found that it was detrimental to my emotional state. I also thought that it might be affecting my pathology block. So I had to drop a few things- of course reluctantly.

Surprisingly, when I got the results for the first two pathology assessments, they were relatively remarkably high. Not high in terms of overall in comparison to everyone else. But I felt it was quite high despite the fact that patho block was when a lot more responsibilities piled up on me.

I think the fact that there were more things on my list encouraged me to have a sense of urgency (Ustaz Nijam's constant reminder). So I didn't laze around (which sometimes influenced me to not do my assignments also). Instead, I was always on my feet and having to think ahead to make sure that everything would be organized and in order and so that my time would not be wasted. Sometimes we think that having more things to take care of means having less time to study; but to me I think it's just the opposite. The more things I have, the more motivated I am.

Sometimes in class I feel like I'm too saturated to listen and tell myself that I'll just read up after class. But then I'd have to attend this meeting and that and more things to do so in the end, I remind myself there's no other time to study than right there and then in class. Sometimes I get too lazy to do mindmaps before the class; but I tell myself that during the finals, I'm gonna get so stressed out because there are just soo many topics to focus on; so the mindmaps would allow me to see the big picture.

I have role models to keep me going as well. Sometimes when I look at my seniors and see how involved they are and how they can balance their priorities, it amazes me. And I think: If they can do that, why can't I? Of course, my most looked-up-to figure would be my one and only Papa:) If I were to list down the things that he has to take care of, it would take up another post.

In the end, it's about what your purpose in life would be. After just completing a Khalifah Training Session, this is what I've been reminded about. I mean, we know about our purpose in life (or at least some of us do) but we forget a lot. And the activities and events that I do; as long as they're in line with my purpose of life, I should keep at them:)

Just realized my post is a little disorganized and my train of thoughts aren't exactly smooth. Guess it's what happens when there's so much in mind and you want to try to pen them all down.