My Birth Place (continued)

Okay, so in Parit Bagan (which is sort of the 'street' where my grandma's house is) there are many other relatives there. I have to admit I don't know many of them. Sometimes I know the name but can't place the face and vice versa. Hihi. But the relative I know most (in comparison to others) is my Nek Ngah. She is my grandaunt; more specifically, my late paktok's brother's wife:) Her house is directly infront of my kampung house.

I remember her always because whenever we came back for Raya, she would say, "Oooh inilah anak yang lahir di sini eh?" or something like that. Hehe. I would just smile. But yeah, she's the midwife who helped my mom with her delivery when my mom was giving birth to me:) Plus, she knows my name^^

To me, Nek Ngah is really chatty and I really like it when I'm around her. Ahaha. Sometimes I can't understand what she says because she talks so fast in Malay and she has a way of speaking which I can't really catch onto the words. Nevertheless, I still enjoy listening to her talk. It's intriguing. Once, I slept over there with my cousin kak byd and she really made us feel at home:) Now, whenever I go back, she'd always ask when I'm going to sleep over again.

So that's about my Nek Ngah:)

~nadhirah
six twenty seven post meridiem
twenty seventh december two thousand seven

My Birth Place

My kampung. Batu Pahat, Johor. My birth place. It is completely awesomeXD Made entirely out of wood. Well, mostly actually. Over these past few years, it has been renovated so the kitchen now consists of cement and tiles and bricks... so yeah. It's been my grandparents' for more than half a century!

I was born there. INSIDE that very house, inside my mom's room. Ahaha. Really! My mom had a midwife because at that time there aren't doctors within the mile so they had to resort to that. If I were to talk about my johor kampung, it can go on forever and ever:P so I'll try to condense it a bit here... hihi.

Since the house is made out of wood, it gets really cold at night and we'd have to snuggle into the comforter. It's a natural aircond and can be REALLY2 freezing in the middle of the night! Also, it can be really scary. When you wake up in the middle of the night and everyone is still sleeping, you can hear the frightening silence. Every single rustle of the leaves or the click-clacking that the lizards make. I just pretend I'm asleep again... hihihi.

As can be seen, the house is on stilts. My late Paktok used to rest under the house. There's a wooden bed and a bangku for a pillow. And he just stays down there to sleep or read the papers. When I was small enough to fit under there (while standing), I used to lie down with him because it's so cool and windy. But it IS sort of scary to go down there because on the ceiling, there are cobwebs and all types of creepy crawlies!>_<

Behind the house is just thick dense forest. Now it's a bit cleared because some cows have been grazing there. There's a huge field infront and there's a shed behind the house. There's an old bicycle parked there, rusting now, since no one has been using it.We used to ride on it since it was the only thing available to play with outside and my Maknek used to always scream "Jangan bawak laju2 sangat!!!" or "Tengok betul2 jalan!". Ahaha.
She used to ride it every morning to the Simpang (literally translated as junction). The Simpang is where there are many convenience shops and places where they sell fresh veggies and meat and fish (straight from the sea).
When I was small, my Maknek would usually smuggle (really!) me to the shops so that I can get any toys or jajan (treats). It happens a lot whenever we balik kampung^^ once, we travelled on bus all the way to the Bandar where she brought me to this photo shop so that she could get a portrait of my and her. That's a lil bit about my grandma.

Anyways, in the day, we'd be running around at the field (like for this raya, we had a water fight). If not, mostly watch TV (Malaysian TV!!!>_<) or eat (my grandma cooks LAVISHLY whenever we come back) or sleep.

Moving on, this is the Rambutan tree just behind my kampung house:D my mom told me that when she was young, the branches are so long, the rambutan fruits almost touch the ground and it can be plucked off and eaten right there:) When i was young, my grannma always ensures there are 2 bucketfuls whenever we come back. In oman, 6 rambutan fruits cost almost RM20!!(or maybe more) and it's imported so it's not fresh. A few years back, my uncles installed a swing there. I'm not so sure what happened to it though.. we used to swing so high up and even stand on it and pretend we're skating. Hihi.. Now, there's nothing much. Just memories:)

So that's pretty much what I can write. There are a million other things I can mention here but I'd better stop:P There are soo many stories. Just TOO many in fact! Maybe next time:)

~nadhirah
twelve twenty two ante meridiem
twenty fourth december two thousand seven

Toastmasters

Yesterday I attended the MIM Toastmasters Club of KL, Youth Leadership Camp, Speech Contest. I didn't participate; just attended.. Hihi. Well, I got really inspired watching the youths give their speeches. My mum said it's not necessarily about doing so well. It's about improving and having the courage just to go up there alone on stage when there are about 200 pairs of eyes watching your every single move.

Anyways, Public Speaking has been... a fear for me. There wasn't any particular moment which made me forever scared of public speaking; it's just my nature I guess. Did you know that when a 'fear survey' was conducted, the thing people are scared the most is to speak publicly? And the second thing is death. Which is quite funny actually. Ahaha.

I participated in my first ever Toastmasters Youth Leadership Camp a few years back. I remember in the car, my mum announcing that I would be entering the Camp and that she already signed me up. I was shocked beyond words and I was complaining and saying that I didn't want to go. My mum said ahmad was going to go too and that this type of thing is good for me. My parents are both Toastmasters Members; my dad because of his love to speak and influence and mingle with people. My mum, partly because of her wish to improve to speak for her Book Talks, but mainly because she believed in the power of words and how important it is. So both my parents actually agreed that from now on, every single one of their children has to attend a Toastmaster's Leadership Camp at least once in their lives.
I went through it..barely alive. Ahaha. Well, it went on for 2 days if I'm not mistake. There were about 20 or more people during that camp and we had to give an average of 3 to 4 speeches a day. Then, there would be the Mentors who would give an evaluation of your speech, ways to improve and the good things we did. The first ever speech I gave was about myself. Of course, the first speech is an icebreaker. After that, the other speeches concentrated more on Style, use of actions (hand gestures and movement), intonations and some others. There was also table topics (which is impromptu; ON THE SPOT) and I really prayed hard that time that my name wouldn't be called out. And alhamdulillah, it wasn't:) But overall, I didn't really feel mself improving that much and I felt like every single speech, I just messed it up. On the last day of the camp, there was a competition, for us to show what we've learnt and everything.

So on the last day, I gave a speech about my dad:) My inspiration. The reason I was at Toastmaters anyway. After that, I remembered feeling so rotten for giving a lousy speech; not because of the title, mind you:P It's just because of how I GAVE the speech. And I cried and I felt so relieved that it was all over. Of course, Ahmad won Champion for the competition. Maybe that's why I cried even more. And on the day of the competition, parents were invited to come and watch. But then my parents were in Bangkok that day; so I guess like.. I didn't have the reassurements after that which made me so much more down:(

BUT! To this day, my parents (and Ahmad!) are supportive pf me joining Toastmasters. When I watch skillful speakers stand up there and do their stuff, I feel so motivated and I think, "I want to speak like that!" The way their pauses are just enough and their intonations are at the right pitch and volume. Well, I don't need to go so far off because one of the best speakers I know is my dad:) He can really...keep people in a trance the way he tells his stories.. Ahaha. Of course, my mum says it comes with a lot of practice; and there are MANY people who started off just like me (or even worse) and became one of the best speakers:)

So, shall I take public Speaking? I'm still undecided. The right answer would be to just go for it! Y'know, probably I'll never be ready but that's the point right? That's just why I have to do it without second thoughts... When I actually am there, I feel so regrettable like WHAT ON EARTH LEAD ME INTO THIS?!?!? But at the end of the day, I know deep inside that I WOULD want to join and become a good speaker...

~nadhirah
ten forty nine ante meridiem
seventeenth december two thousand seven

~

"If you're afraid of everyone leaving you, what do you do?"

"Make them stay."

"And if you can't do that, or don't know how?"

She shrugged. "I don't know."

"Yes, you do. You leave first," he said, "so you don't have to watch them walk away."

~nadhirah
twelve twenty nine ante meridiem
16th december two thousand seven

My personality (?)

Sent from a friend about my personality:

Your thoughts are often on others and their needs, especially those close to you, and this is observed through your projected personality. You are seen as one who is responsible, in service to others, and trying to establish emotional harmony. Sometimes you are seen as a fatherly or motherly type. It is observed that you are capable of deep affection and sacrifice. When meeting new people, you tend to be either suspicious or gullible, sometimes switching between the two in succession. When threatened emotionally, you can be seen as defending yourself to near irrationality. You enjoy good clothes of good material, and like to be comfortably dressed. To enhance this personality, you should always be well-dressed and give thought to the way you look, rather than giving it the lack of importance or carelessness as is your tendency.

When I read it, I was quite intrigued at how it sounded like me (to me that is). I've always quite wondered what type of person I am and this gave me a new outlook on things. Though there are of course many other things I wish I can improve it:)

Yes, throughout my life, I have been told that I am gullible. Easily believe people. Either I lack knowledge, or as I explain it, I prefer to trust people:) Up to MY extent. Though I'm not so sure what extent that is:P

I like to think about people and their needs!:D Though maybe I'm not THAT sacrificial. I can say I'm sensitive (as repeatedly expressed by another friend of mine). I can easily be hurt and I've tried really hard too face rejection boldly; but to no avail. When I can't reach expectations, I can become so emotional and out of mind (whatever that means:P) and obssessed with it, even after it's passed. And I really do easily cry. Throughout my whole year at school, out of all the people in school, I've cried the most IN school. It's really quite embarassing that I've been telling myself to be stronger and be a strength for people but instead i'm showing my weakness and potraying that I can't really do it. I mean, crying shows you're soft-hearted. But crying too much is just...too much.. Ahaha.

Quite a number of people HAVE told me that I'm soft-hearted. My teachers said that I should be more firm. Ahmad says he's surprised how I became the Head Girl, because I'm not that assertive and I'm a lot more soft-hearted. Ahahaha.

Oh well, as time goes on, I'd like to know more about my personality. Or rather, I'd like to build my personality to the best:)

~nadhirah
six forty seven post meridiem
twelfth december two thousand seven

Work @ adni

Today I started work!:D Ahahaha. Well, not really today. It was on Monday (unexpectedly) so today I continued my work. I tell you, it is extremely mind-racking to work at the bookshop. Sometimes the books are there, sometimes they're not. And sometimes the parents don't want some books and some books they want. And sometimes if you forget one number, it's like.. ARRGGHH!! I have to start again!>_< and if you accidentally pressed a wrong number, again, have to start again. I'm not so used to normal calculators because I've been using Scientific Calculators for the past 2 years:P Anyway, today wasn't as hectic or chaotic as the first day. There was one time where many people came and while you're doing your work, about two people wants your attention to clarify something and you're like.. in the middle of calculating the totals. And when you go back to your initial work, you have to redo or take some time to figure out what you're doing and some parent might be coming into the room and looking over your shoulder at your work and THAT's when it's extra nerve-wrecking because you're afraid you'd mess up. Ahahaha.

It was really tiring bending over the totals and frustrating that you don't seem to get the number no matter how many times you calculate. BUt in the end, it's a fun experience. Yknow, working with people and handling the situation and being patient and smiling through it all:D Ahahah. There are MANY MORE personalities out there. These are my first few steps:)

~nadhirah
six thirty two post meridiem
twelfth december two thousand seven

Of Bunnies and Bears

If there's something common about bunnies and bears, they are both usually the main soft toys. Because they're lovable. And cuddly:)

Forever and Always, my bunny...

Kenyakenya

I have been at home for about 3 weeks now and for those three weeks, I have been so frustrated due to the drilling and hammering and all the mashing and bashing. There are two houses under construction which are actually two houses to the right and two houses to the left. Amazing! Everyday, at 8am, all the machinery starts until 12pm where they take a break and it all starts again until about 4pm. Where it all ends. The night is filled with tranquility:) that is, until the next day...

I've tried many ways to distract myself. Once I put on the headphones on and blasted Native Deen's songs on full volume! But it didn't really work. And it was so bad up to the point that I told my mum I'm going to run away and take the LRT. (At the dinner table, I told all this to my family and Ahmad -who hadn't heard of my dilemma- retorted, "What's she gonna do with the LRT? Sit in there all the way til it goes to the other station and back?" And everyone was quiet and Syarif said "Yeah, that's exactly what she planned." And Ahmad was like LOL!!!). I tried to go to sleep while the drilling is there but then it makes me MORE awake. My mum said "I can't control the noise, but I can control my mind." I guess that's true; and lately I have been praying more for patience. God doesn't actually just throw down patience *kapooOF!* on you and there you go you're always enduring. He gives tests so that you BECOME more patient; yknow, gotta learn to train yourself and you'll soon have it:) This is my test I guess. Plus I pity my neighbour next door who is DIRECTLY next to the din and they even have small kids.
BUT I guess I wasn't patient enough. When my dad announced that he'd be going to KLCC, I jumped at the first opportunity and exclaimed, "Please! I need to get out of this place!" So my dad said, "ok, let's go" and we were off:D

Finally, I spent a drilling-free afternoon. Instead, got to stay in my haven of a bookstore: Kinokuniya! (Safi pronounced it as Kenyakenya when we were at the dinner table:P)Where I enjoyed myself for about 4 hours:) I love being surrounded by books; and I even love the smell of books:D It's kinda weird, but books DO have a smell to them and it's really awesome! I got to finish a few books and at 5pm, Ahmad came from his exam and he treated me to Spaghetti Carbonara~ Aww Such a sweet brother (he'd be 'LOL'ing if he read that!:P) Anyways, after that went to Times Bookstore to wait for my dad who was still at his conference and then waited til 8pm because he was at the PC fair looking for some stuffs:) Thus, I have finally ventured to the outer world. Alhamdulillah~

Owh, Kak Nihlah told me she would need some of our (the "new alumni") help with an upcoming alumni program. And I felt this surge of *gasp*! It's more of dreading plus whooping. Ahahaha. Oh well, it's gonna come some day. Might as well welcome it with a smile:)

~nadhirah
twelve forty six ante meridiem
eight december two thousand seven

Alumni (?)

definition: students who have graduated from a particular institution.

Since I've (unofficially; because the official Graduation Ceremony has yet to be) graduated from High School, I guess I'm an Alumni now. On our last days of school, my friends and I have been talking whether we'd "join" the Alumni or not. And I've countlessly debated that you CAN'T decide whether you want to JOIN the alumni or not. I mean, technically speaking, you are automatically an alumni when you're done with school right?
But I guess what they mean here is that whether you'd be an active (or inactive) alumni; because the alumni we see are the usual -consistent- ones. There aren't many who we see although we KNOW there are many more.

I've been contemplating a lot on the Alumni Association... To me though, there are reasons on whether I want to 'join' or not. There are personal reasons as to why I don't want to join... There are also reasons like being afraid to be one. Does that make sense? I mean, to me, I see my alumni as really exemplary and I really admire their great ukhuwwah.. and whenever I see their pictures with their great smiles and the close bonds, I wish that I can be a part of that... But joining is like being an intruder to what they already have. It's weird to think that way, but that's what I always feel. I guess it's being intimidated, and being in somewhere new and being like.. I-can-never-reach-to-their-standards type of feeling all mushed and balled into one big feeling.
However, at the same time, being an Alumnus means that I get to learn new things, deal with people and lots more I guess:) Being part of the Alumni also means still being close to the school.. because Adni has been the most memorable school in my life; with all the moments and friends I made. There are also probably a good many more reasons; all which I can't seem to recall now that I'm typing them down. This always happens:P But anyways: Go Alumni!

So in conclusion, I shall join the Alumni Association:)

SHOCKING FACT: Thanks to Aki, I just learnt that Alumnus is the SINGULAR of Alumni. And Alumni is the PLURAL of Alumnus!!!! Logically speaking, it should be the other way round. But whatever~ English is funny in that sense. hihi.

~nadhirah
twelve o seven ante meridiem
seventh december two thousand seven

PS. To my ukhti,
my drawing-anime competitor,
my partner for a walk to remember,
Happy 16th birthday!
May Allah grant you all your wishes.
Uhibbuki fillah daiman abadan:)

PSS. TO aki, saranGGG HHHeyo!

Not afraid to stand alone

~Not afraid to stand alone
Native Deen

I am not afraid to stand alone
I am not afraid to stand alone
If Allah is by my side
I am not afraid to stand alone
Everything is gonna be alright
I am not afraid to stand alone
Going keep my head up high

I am not afraid to stand alone
If Allah is by my side
Everything is going be alright
Going to keep my head up high

Single mother raising her children
And Now she’s a Muslim
Started praying and wearing a headscarf
It Was a healing for her heart

Struggling with no one to lean on
But with prayer she would be strong
Had a job but then she was laid off
Got a better education and it paid off

She was called for a job that she dreamed of
Close by, great pay -she was in love –
They brought her in — told her shes the number one pick
You got the job, but you gotta lose the outfit”

It’s a tough position that you put me in
Cause look at my condition, and my two children
But I’ll continue looking for a job again
Cause my faith and my religion I will never bend

I am not afraid to stand alone
I am not afraid to stand alone
If Allah is by my side
I am not afraid to stand alone
Everything is gonna be alright
I am not afraid to stand alone
Going keep my head up high

I am not afraid to stand alone
If Allah is by my side
Everything is going be alright
Going to keep my head up high

Peer pressure, they were insisting
And I was resisting
Some days…. I felt I would give in
Just wanted to fit in

I know…..when I’m praying and fasting’
They be teasing and laughing
So I called to my Lord for the power
For the strength every day, every hour…

one day there’s a new Muslim teacher
Single mom and the people respect her
Just seeing…. her strength I get stronger
They can break my will no longer

You don’t see me sweatin’ when they’re jokes cracking
Never see me cussing’ with my pants saggin’
I aint never running Yo Im still standing,
I'm proud with Allah til the very end…

I am not afraid to stand alone
I am not afraid to stand alone
If Allah is by my side
I am not afraid to stand alone
Everything is gonna be alright
I am not afraid to stand alone
Going keep my head up high

I am not afraid to stand alone
If Allah is by my side
Everything is going be alright
Going to keep my head up high

Now, I’m a tough one, who can bear their blows
The rest play dumb, they don’t dare say no
Scared of being shunned, but its clear they know
I aint never gonna run, I aint scared no more….

Man, these sisters be resolute
Never stressed when the rest say they wasn’t cute
And the get the respect of the other youth
Come best with the dress yo and thats the truth

These sisters are strong gonna hand it down
So me Im a brotha gotta stand my ground
No fear, Im tough Im the man in town
Peer pressure no more, its my planet now

Others may fall, but Im hold my own
With Allahs help I’ll be strong as stone
And I’ll be the one to let Al Islam be shown
Cause I am not afraid yo to stand alone

I am not afraid to stand alone
I am not afraid to stand alone
If Allah is by my side
I am not afraid to stand alone
Everything is gonna be alright
I am not afraid to stand alone
Going keep my head up high

I am not afraid to stand alone
If Allah is by my side
Everything is going be alright
Going to keep my head up high

One of my good friends sent me the video clip to Native Deen's latest song, Not afraid to stand alone. I admit, it is extremely inspiring and motivating to hear the words and watch the clip. A must watch for all Muslims!:)

~nadhirah
eight twenty two post meridiem
sixth december two thousand seven

I've Learned by Omar Washington

I have learned that...

"...you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them."

"...no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back."

"...it takes years to build up trust and only seconds to destroy it."

"...it's not what you have in your life, but whom you have in life that counts."

"...you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes, after that, you'd better know something."

"...you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do."

"...it's not what happens to people, it's what they do about it."

"...no matter how thinly you slice it, there are always two sides."

"...you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you'll see them."

"...you can keep going long after you think you can't."

"...heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences."

"... there are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it."

"... sometimes when I'm angry, I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel."

"...true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance and I've learnt the same goes for true love."

"...no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that."

"...it isn't always enough to be forgive by others; sometimes you have to forgive yourself."

"...no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief."

"...just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other, and just because they don't argue, doesn't mean they do."

"...sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of his actions."

"...two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different."

"...no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get further in life."

"...that your life can be changed in a matter of hours."

"...that when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help."

"...writing as well as talking can ease emotional pains."

"...the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon."

"...it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings, and standing up for what you believe."

"...to love and to be loved."

"I've learned."

~nadhirah
eleven eleven post meridiem
fourth december two thousand seven

Kurikulum Pendidikan Pemandu

Driving Education Curriculum~ IS that how it's translated to English? I'm not so sure. But anyway, I have finally gone to the Driving School (with much complaints with my brother who wanted to walk there but then finally gave in and drove there instead due to the SWELTERING HEAT of the SUN!). On the way, I was just watching him drive and press the brake and accelerator. And when it came to the parking, he said, "Okay actually, I'm meant to do a 3 point parking but it's turned out to be a million point parking; so don't learn from me."

Ahahaha. So that kind of got me laughing even though I was pretty nervous JUST for the sign uP!>_< I went in and sat there myself infront of the women and used all the BM knowledge I know as well as sum up all the courage to register for my driving license. I tell you, it is the most scariest thing to talk in BM and then they look at you like you are actually speaking some Alien Language.

Take for example a few days ago, I went to KL Sentral to have lunch. When I went to this stall, the guy was asking in English what i wanted. So then I said "Saya nak Papaya boleh tak?" And the guy sort of stopped in his tracks and I was wondering what I said wrong. Then I realized that I asked in Malay but then requested for what i wanted in English. Lol! So i was like, uuhhh Betik! And the guy just smiled and got it for me. I bet he was doing all he can to suppress the laughter inside him.

I do not know what exactly I have against BM. Well, maybe I do... 5 years ago, I used to live in Oman and I studied in an international school. All my teachers were British so then obviously when I learnt English, i picked up the accent and slang too. So whenever we came back to Malaysia for a holiday and meet up with my cousins, it sent them laughing in stitches whenever I spoke. And they used to repeat after me; and since I was young that time, I got deeply hurt easily and felt like I was being mocked. Once, my uncle came for a visit and that time I pronounced "dodol" with a slang, he reiterated it with a british slang and all my cousins laughed at me. That night, I cried in bed and swore to myself I would never speak in Malay again. Thus, my fear and abhoration of the Bahasa Malaysia begun.

Many a time, my parents have coaxed me that it is the our Mother Tongue and that I should do best to learn it. I took BM lightly especially because BM for IGCSE is in Foreign Language so I never took the initiative to learn my best. However now it seems like everything I'm going to do from now on would require BM AND talking in that language. I have tried many ways, talking in BM with a friend of mine but it didnt seem to work and it just made me embarassed I cant even speak malay even after 5 years. I've read Malay novels but slept after the first few pages (accept amazingly the books by Ramlee Awang Murshid, recommended by another friend, which kept me thrilled til the end).

I think I'm just going to get used to learning and talking in BM whether I like it or not. Most probably I'd have to learn it the hard way. But that's my fault for not learning it more seriously. Oh woe is me and my BM. InsyaAllah I'll master it. One day:)

~nadhirah
nine post meridiem
fourth december two thousand seven

To do

Well, exam is finally over... Not that it has just recently finished. Actually, it's been over for 2 weeks already!:P I told myself I'd start my to-do list on my 2nd week BUT I had excusitis. Sigh sigh sigh.

For one thing, when I heard that all my friends have started working or studying, I become quite envious since all I'm doing at home is just sleeping (mostly). Sometimes I open my addmaths books. Sometimes read... but mostly sleep:P So now, cut the WHOLE LONG story short, i shall take charge of my life, and DO something! Wish me all the best. Ahahaha.

~nadhirah
five fifty post meridiem
third december two thousand seven

Promises

Are promises really made to be broken, as the saying goes?

Driving!!... not.

Okay, so on Monday I called up the driving school to know about the details and what to do and the procedures and everything. A week ago, my mum said we would go on Tuesday. But then she had class. Then we could go on Wednesday but then my dad was outstation so we couldn't get some particulars that we needed. So then, okay FRIDAY!

For an L License, first of all, a 5 hour course, a computer test and after that a workshop. Next, the JPJ test which you can take it for 14 hours or 16 hours. And finally the P License which is something like the probation period. And the place opens up from 9.30am to 6pm

So this evening, at around 4pm, I was all ready and set to go... My parents were out and my brother was too tired to drive so my dad suggested to just go walk there with Safi since it was around a 10-15 minute walk. We walked and fast-walked (whenever we see men; regardless if they look suspicious or not) and crossed a pedestrian bridge. One interesting thing about me is that I hate pedestrian bridges. Well, not really hate. They are an aid to humankind to cross the road and get to the other side for safety. But why oh why must they make it so high up? Going up the steps, I always freak out that I would fall backwards or something. That's because I'm not holding the rails because I take it that they're dirty (EVERYONE touches them)>_< and when I'm walking on the bridge itself, I will never ever look to the sides, or to the cars down below. I would just focus on the middle and tell myself to keep on taking one step forward. I told this to Safi and HE found it quite amusing. He made this 'tripping act' on the bridge and I screamed out. A good thing nobody was there:P

So anyway, when we reached there, the big sign on the door said: Jumaat Cuti.
I didn't scream or throw a tantrum or whatever. Just took a deep *DEEP* breath. And walked back... Ahahaha.

That was my big walking-to-the-driving-school adventure. Soon, I SHALL get my Driver's License! InsyaAllah:)

~nadhirah
one o-two ante meridiem
first december two thousand seven

Volunteering

I have finally started on volunteering work!:) Well, technically speaking, it is. Yesterday, I volunteered as a fasci at fuddy's mom's Brain Camp held by N Shiki, looking after kids between 6-12 years old. It was from 9-5pm. The camp had a jungle theme and everyone had to wear something with an animal on it (me=turtle!). There were 10 groups, all named after gemstones, for example topaz, opal, aquamarine, diamond etc... Basically, I was in charge of one group and had to help out with anything else needed. Iman was MC . Safi was the DJ and cameraman, Fuddy in charge of another group and Yaya also in charge of another group/

It was really enjoyable, especially since I was doing what I really like; making artsy stuff and learning about new things. We learnt a volcano song.. hehe.. and about Pollination and bumble bees and also about how to make paper!:) Of course the experience of dealing with children is absolutely... interesting. Ahaha. It is also VERY tiring. Having to tend to their every need and just going through will all their ever-lasting energy.. The kids in my group are all very cute kids. There are four of them; Iman, Aqif, Amirah and another boy I forgot his name..but he is really sweet and polite!:)

One funny thing happened. Our first activity was to make cheese. What's meant to happen is that when the milk and lemon mixes, a solid is formed and there's also some solution too. The solid is the Curd and the watery stuff is whey. So we're supposed to filter it and get the curd. We used filter paper and when we poured the mixture in, the curd got stuck and the whey didn't seem to filter out. And the group behind us (Yaya's), had at least their whey dripping down. I took the ice-cream stick (used as a glass rod.. haha chemistry!) to sort of push away the curd to let the whey out. I think I pushed it a little too hard or did it too many times that I made a hole in the filter paper and *GLOOSH* the whole mixture just burst down into the bottle (used as the beaker..Chem again:P) and the kids had on a ghastly this-akak-just-ruined-our-experiment face. I felt so bad and took immediate steps to correct it and I was actually quite amazed that they took the whole thing quite 'level-headed'ly. They didn't freak out or anything (well, not as much as I did). They just said "I think we should get new filter paper" and just went on with everything else. Which was what happened. Alls well that ends well:)
Just being themselves, kids teach you a lot. Anyway, I found out that Fuddy's experiment also had a hole in HER filter paper. So I didn't feel that bad anymore. Phew~

Ooh! At the end of the program, they sang a Birthday song for this girl who had HER birthday that day. And after that a birthday song for Fuddy's brother who's birthday was on that week. And then Fuddy announced to sing ANOTHER birthday song; which was.. for ME. And I really didn't realize what she was talking about until Yaya and Iman started squealing next to me. It was really sweet and I have to admit I was quite malu.. but at the same time, pleased:)

So that's what happened:) And it was really great to see my beloveds again after 1 and a half weeks. It's quite something to think that we're not really going to be able to be with each other much anymore... But that's life. Keep going on. That's what everyone tells me anyway.

~nadhirah
twelve thirty two ante meridiem
thirtieth november two thousand seven

Adibah Amin

Among the books I found while searching for some good ones to devour was "As I was passing" written by Adibah Amin. I asked my mum what she thought about it and she highly recommended it. My mum said it was Adibah Amin's writings which inspired her to write. I took the book and let myself indulge in her book for the night.

"As I was passing" is a collection of the columns she wrote in NST years ago about the Malaysian way of life, back when my mum was a teenager. Her writing has a warm edge to it... and it is the first time ever I encounter 'a piece' like hers. Humorous... witty... understandable... Filled with examples and entertaining stories.. Although it was a bit difficult for me to imagine everything since they were mostly about the kampung life, I could make out a little of what was going on:)

There was one writing about the differences of townspeople and kampung people. I finally found out what the meaning of kurang ajar is. I've always wondered why people say it and although it was kind of obvious, i didn't really think about it til I read that article. Literally, kurang ajar means 'not taught enough'. And when you say it to a person, you are actually referring more to the person's parents; that they were not educated by their parents properly. How ironic it is when parents say it to their own offspring.

At the end of the day, to me, Adibah Amin's stories are marvelous for light reading and just for fun. It's interesting to read about how Malaysians are.

~nadhirah
four post meridiem
twenty eight november two thousand seven

Reading

Last year, my dad began this Reading Awareness Campaign thing where we sort of compete with each other. We have to see how much books we read and the one who reads the most books would win a really cool prize. Hehe.

I started my reading marathon this morning and started on some Seerah Books which have been lying on my table since last month because I've been telling myself to look through them to get a hang of IRC Exam.

I read something interesting... The Prophet was named Muhammad which means the Praised One.. And the Quraisy one day were ridiculing the Prophet by calling him "Mudhammam" which means the Disliked One. The Prophet was not bothered by this at all and was completely patient. The Sahabah asked Why do you let the Kuffar abuse you and call you Mudhammam? You are always so patient and give them no reply."
The Prophet smiled and gave an amazing reply; "Why should I feel angry toward them and reply to them? See how Allah turns away all their swearing and curses from me to someone called Mudhammam? My name is Muhammad."

So I realized that if people start calling names to someone, that's not their name and they shouldn't feel offended.

People say things whether it is true or not. It's your decision whether you want to believe it or not:)

~nadhirah
two twenty one post meridiem
twenty seventh november two thousand and seven

My First

I think I can safely admit that this is the best day of the year:) Today i turn 17.

I've been thinking of starting a blog because some people have been asking me to write. Its good to write down thoughts to sort them out and also to enhance writing skills. I love creative writing. Though i have a lot to improve in. And i guess the reason i've been putting off starting a blog is because I'm afraid that my writing would be criticized or some time from now, I would wouldn't be able to reread what i write. Just like the poems i used to write years ago... And i guess i compare myself to other people so much. When i read my senior's blogs or someone else's inspiring blog, i feel that there's no reason for me to write. Hmm.. I guess everyone starts somewhere...
But starting something new... or facing a change isn't that easy... I just gotta start getting used to it because I'm gonna be facing lots of new changes. >_< One of the skills i decided i want to acquire would be good writing skills. Better start now.

Anyways, back to the Best Day of the Year:P Last night at 1140pm my lil brothers came into my room and sang me the "Happy Birthday in 20 minutes" song. It's just so adorable. They even had a little dance routine to it. They had to do it a few times since they started laughing so badly. On the 2nd last attempt, my dad came out asking what's all the ruckus and pandemonium about. But in the end, it all worked it and it was soo adorable:)

Oh well after that i opened some gifts and letters i got beforehand (but i wasnt able to open it til 12am) ahaha. And there was this big surprise. That morning, actually we had a farewell gathering and my dad secretly brought a card and asked my classmates to sign it. My family also signed a card. And i guess i was so happy, i was crying and everything due to all the emotions... ahaha. And my brothers who were all there was like laughing. Siraj was like "Kak Alia's crying?" and ahmad was like "lol dont need to get so emotional". Ahahaha. I cried some more when i read Aki's letter. It was so sweet. Mayb I'll write more about it later because it really does take one whole post. My usual birthday present request is a letter. So i got a few.. and hopefully some more later on!:D Wheee>_<

Ahmad said "I've never cried of happiness before. Cherish your friends."

So yeah... that's been MY birthday. and the 2nd time i remember crying out of Joy^^

Not too bad for the start of my blog:)

~nadhirah
twelve twenty seven post meridiem
twenty sixth november two thousand and seven