To Remind You

Dear Alia Nadhirah,

2nd Year is around the corner. In fact, it's closer than you think because you'll be heading back to college tomorrow and having all sorts of things to settle and attend to until Registration, a day before class begins.

2nd year would of course be tougher than 1st year. You're supposed to know things and NOT forget what you've learnt in 1st year. And sometimes when things don't seem to be entering your head, never never never give up and resort to memorizing word by word. Try to apply it, discuss it, match it to a real-life situation. This is just part of the greater journey in your life. Watch the 3 Idiots movie if you must to remind you.

Spend time wisely in studies so that you don't have to spend extra hours having to make up for the many things you didn't understand.When you get frustrated dealing with SCTLs, PBLs, OSCEs, OSPEs, exams etc, remember that each and every part of it is important in becoming a great doctor. As hard and puzzling as it may be, remember that it's the patient you are dealing with, not the disease. So don't go around just cramming everything in your head. Try to UNDERSTAND them. Read The Forgotten Art of Healing if you must to remind you.

When you're running here and there dealing with programs, projects and events, remember that you need to do it to balance with your studies. "There are many good people out there. But there are not enough people to contribute to the Ummah." Talk to Teacher Rasyidah if you must to remind you.

When you feel lazy and don't feel like doing anything, remember there's not enough TIME to be sitting around. There's still so much to accomplish! When you get tired and upset and wonder why you can't do whatever it is that you like, don't ever ever give up. Tiredness is temporary but Pahala is permanent. Talk to those who are active if you must to remind you.

Never ever neglect your loved ones. Sometimes you get so busy with studies and caught up in events. Never take for granted that "They will understand." Never have a friend say "I'm so touched that you remember me even though you're so busy." Talk to Ayah and Ummi if you must to remind you.

When personal emotions overwhelm you and you feel like your heart is torn to pieces, remember they are petty matters. Acknowledge it, put it aside and learn from it fast. Recall the painful but truthful conversation "takde masa nak layan" to remind you.

When you've done so many mistakes, and you feel like your heart is so black, remember that it is like glass and can be cleaned again. Remember back to Sheikh Tawfique's words about the heart of a Believer, where your heart quivered listening to the explanation. Recite Surah An-Nur about the Light upon Light to remind you.

When you lose track of what you want to be, remember back to the Mercy Mission presentation. About where our Ummah is standing today and what it has become. Remember that you want to build 4 characteristics: 1) Character and Vision 2) Knowledgable 3) Active and Proactive 4) Compassionate. Hold steadfast to the vision and if you are searching for a life partner, make sure that he is someone who is truly passionate and sincere about the vision of Mercy Mission because it is about reviving the Ummah. Visit www.mercymissionworld.org to remind you.

2nd Year starts in four days, Alia. Start it with all the energy you've got!:) So many aims to complete. If you're faced with problems or difficulties, remember that they are reminders that you're not doing something right. Don't be upset with the reminders you'll be getting. You need them to set your path straight. Turn to Allah all the time to remind you.

Love.

they come first

This is how you can shock your siblings:

Wake up in the morning and head to the kitchen. Take out a plate, and four pieces of bread. Toast two of them. Take out the chicken and roasted chicken salami, mayonnaise, chili sauce and some salad. Fry an egg. Slap the salamis, mayonnaise, chili sauce, salad and egg in between four pieces of bread. Cut in half. Serve. To them.

When I went upstairs and offered half the sandwich to Ahmad on a plate, he was still in bed. I knocked the door gently and said, "Angah, I made you a sandwich. It has salami, mayonnaise, sauce, salad and egg inside." He blinked a few times, sat up, took the plate and stared at me.

I went into the next room, knocked on the door and found my eldest brother inside.

Me: Along, are you hungry?

Along: Uhh not really...

Me: Okay well, I made a sandwich for you with *such such such* contents.

Along: *stared suspiciously and paused for a while* Why?

Me: *shrugged* I dunno. I feel like expressing some kind of appreciation.

Along: What appreciation?

Me: I don't know. I just feel like making a sandwich but I'm fasting.

Why can't they just accept when we want to do something nice? haha.

I went back to Ahmad's room where he had finished half his sandwich already. I sat next to him as he munched slowly. Then he suddenly laid back on bed and got up quickly again. I was really wondering what's wrong with him until he said, "I'm trying to wake up from this dream." (like it must be some kind of a dream that Alia is making a sandwich for breakfast). And after a pause, he questioned, "Alia, are you sure you're alright?"

My mom came in at that moment and seeing the rarity of Ahmad eating in bed, felt his forehead and asked full of concern, "Are you having a fever?"

And Ahmad said: "I think Alia's having a fever."

I smirked: "Alright, just blame the hormones."

And he said, "Well, keep these hormones please."

For some reason this morning I woke up with energized spirit and extremely motivated. I told myself I'm going to complete a lot of work (which I have long procrastinated).

But what actually suddenly came to mind was the words of my dad at the recent family gathering. We were having a conversation during the reunion and he said: "Yknow Alia, we always work so hard to help and please other people, our friends and the society. But how come we don't do the same for our families? In fact, they should come first."

And that is why, Along and Angah, I made the sandwich this morning:)

Why not do something nice and shock your siblings?:)

Brace Yourself

This is the new guaranteed plan for those who wish to lose weight: Braces.

Braces on teeth I mean.

On my first visit to the orthodontist last month, I met a doctor many would wish to emulate. Dr Shafeeq is extremely nice. He's engaging and has a very warm smile. He's the type of doctor you would want to keep going to because he explains everything like what we always learn in Clinical Skills Training on how to deal with patients. On my first visit to him last month, the conversation went something like this:

Dr : Assalamualaikum. How are you? *smile smile*

Me: Waalaikumsalam.

Dr : So what brings you here?

Me: My teeth... My mom brought me here.

Dr : Ok, so may I know why now? Why not last year or any other time?

Me: My mom have asked long ago for me to see an orthodontist. I'm on holiday now.

Dr : Alright then, I can see from here that your teeth are a little misaligned. Or maybe that's because that's my job haha. May I know how you feel about your teeth?

Me: Yeah. Umm I have no problem at all. I mean, I don't feel any less confident or anything. In fact, I love smiling a lot:)

Dr : Uhuh and what does your friends say?

Me: My friends don't say anything about them. I'm really okay with them (teeth I mean)

Dr : I'm going to have a look at your teeth now:)

He took pictures, a model sample and I had to take two x-rays of my jaw. That was for the first visit. When I came again for the second visit, he gave me a two-page written report (complete with my teeth conditions, treatment plans and alternative, cost etc). He patiently explained to me each part, highlighting the problems and outlining treatment plans. I summarize his verbal report as such:

Dr : Well, first of all from the x-ray, we have no problem with your jaw. But it seems we have quite a complicated case here. You see, your lower teeth have all moved to the right and your upper teeth have moved to the left. I'm not so sure why that is, but it's happened. So your centre line is not aligned with your face. Plus you can see here (he showed me my model teeth), that the lower and upper teeth are not aligned correctly.

Also, there is a crowding in your lower teeth. So, it's like there's a lot of furniture in the house. It's either we have to remove furniture or make the house bigger. When there is a lot of furniture, it's more difficult to clean the house right? So there's some inflammation here which would cause your gums to bleed.

As you can see, there is an overbite here (lower teeth infront of the upper teeth); normally the upper teeth would be infront of your lower teeth.

So I would conclude that you have quite a serious case. If following a standard in UK, your case would be a 4/5. So do you think you would want to put on the braces?

In the end, we concluded that we would follow the orthodontist's expertise. Which was the reason we came to him in the first place. I had to make a visit to the dentist and after that back to Dr Shafeeq. This time around, it was braces time.

During the most recent visit where the braces were put on, he explained to me the procedure in detail (This'll be quite boring for you, he said). Apparently I was quite shocked to find out that they GLUED the brackets onto the teeth! And then the archwire would be snapped into place.

After that, Dr Shafeeq said: This is the only practice where the patient will feel pain AFTER they go home haha. This is going to be the start of your long affair with braces:)

I didn't really understand what he meant with pain being felt after I went home. When I came home and had something to eat, it was of course quite awkward because it's like you have something in your mouth. I couldn't differentiate which was food and which was braces.

On the second day when I woke up, when I moved my mouth, I was kinda freaking out until I came to the realization that: Oh yeah, I'm wearing braces. Each root of the tooth was throbbing like I was having a toothache at all my upper teeth. I couldn't bite anything- not even rice. And this is how this dieting technique works:

1. Since it would really hurt when you bite, all you can resort to is soft food diet like porridge or mashed bananas.
2. Since it really hurts to eat, you would tend to eat much much much slower. What usually takes me 5 minutes took me triple the time. It's good for digestion (but not good if all you can do is swallow).
3. Since its such a pain anyway to be eating, you get tired of it quickly and end up not eating much. (So you can't overeat)

It went on for a week until now. Whenever my lower teeth would accidentally make contact with the upper teeth, it would throb like crazy. But Alhamdulillah, the pain wasn't so bad to the extent that I had to take painkillers. I could sleep:) I just had the letter 's' turn into 'th' sometimes. Haha.

Well, the reason I didn't want to blog about this earlier is because I would want people to find out for themselves. Also if I did blog, it would be a long list of horrific stories and scare those who ARE going to wear braces! (haha nah, this is just preparations). But SOMEONE had already realized I wore braces haha. So it didn't matter anyway.

1.5 years til the outcome. Aki says it doesn't matter because "You look pretty in anything." :) I'm not soo bothered by how I look. I would not stop smiling widely. It's just a pain for when I want to eat and talk. But my eldest brother said: Hah, you won't even feel it by next month.

Until of course, when Dr Shafeeq fixes on the braces for the lower teeth.

Alia, brace yourself for it.

Mistakes are bound to happen

I love this.

Taken from my 10-year-old brother's (Siraj's) drawing book.

Most likely the wordings of my 14 year-old-brother (Syarif's).

The Forgotten Art of Healing

The stupendous advances of science and technology have changed the face of medicine. Medicine is capable of performing amazing feats deemed incredible 50 years ago. Yet paradoxically there is today a deepening disillusion, distrust and even antagonism against medicine and the medical profession. The paradox is indeed striking for around the middle of the last century when science and technology hovered merely in the background and medicine has achieved little, the profession was held in the highest regard and the doctor's image outshone that of any other profession. Today, when science and technology envelop medicine in an all-embracing grasp and when medicine has achieved a great deal, the respect for the profession has plummeted and the image of the physician is increasingly tarnished. To my mind, the main reason for this paradox is because medicine has strayed from its path, has lost its way, has lost its goal. The mechanization of medicine, the hubris of its technology and science has submerged its art, robbed it of its raison d'etre, its humanism. The physician no longer ministers to a distinctive person, but concerns himself with separate malfunctioning organs. The distressed patient, the human being, is frequently forgotten or relegated to the background.

In these days of burgeoning science, the medical student and the doctor are both absorbed in the intricacies of technological advances related to medicine. Yet medicine is learnt and taught at the bedside by listening and talking to the patients, by touching and examining them; not just from books, not from gleaming machines and sophisticated gadgetry, nor from the rapturous attention to beautiful images obtained through computerized or magnetic resonance imaging, endoscopies, angiographies or from other wonderful gifts of science and technology...

Excerpt from The Forgotten Art of Healing by Farokh Erach Udwadia

How very true. How beautifully worded.

The book is a must-read for all involved in the medical field.

I've only read the first of 9 essays and every page is brimming with so much wisdom and truthfulness that I am left simply captivated and mesmerized.

success is in the process.

While judges determine who goes home with the trophy, they don't determine who goes home with success. If we as competitors allow the subjective opinion of others to determine whether or not our journey has been a success, then we have failed... If, whether we win or we lose,we recognize the growth that is still available and we choose to persist; then we win.

Rory Vaden. 27 years old.
First runner up for Toastmasters' World Championship of Public Speaking 2007.

I just finished July 2010's Toastmasters magazine copy and found the above excerpt in the article "My View from Number 2". It's about "what happens to the people who don't make it as the numero uno"? As a person who have not made it as champion to about 5-6 speech competitions, I can only understand 1/100th of what he feels (seeing that he came in SECOND at the WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP). I've only had to go through sleepless nights for a month, whereas he had to undergo immense and tremendous pressure for 2 years before setting second place.

The first thing that came to my mind when I read his article was not about speech competitions, rather about studies itself. I'll admit that I am not a brilliant IQ-smart student when it comes to studies. Some people might dub those who have low grades in school as "stupid". After reading Rich Kid Smart Kid, I realize that there are different types of geniuses (what my mom has told me a long time ago but it did not seem significant to me at that time). What the current education system focuses on is the "verbal-linguistic genius", whereby they focus on reading and writing. Ergo those with strengths in reading and writing would inevitably thrive. The thing is, not everyone has strengths in reading and writing, that is not exactly the best way for them to learn. They might be better at "numericals" or "physical" or "environmental", just some of the other geniuses to name a few.

What I'm attempting to say is that grades and certificates does not necessarily determine you to be number one. You may need them for qualifications and to determine quality (as they are made out for) but at the end of the day, who really has the right to determine whether you are successful or not? Who can honestly say that you have grown as a person? It does not matter whether you are in a competition, whether you are studying or working: If, whether we win or we lose, we recognize the growth that is still available and we choose to persist; then we win.

Jim Rohn (Self-made multimillionaire, success coach and philosopher) says, "You want to set a goal that is big enough that in the process of achieving it you become someone worth becoming."

Jack Canfield writes: The ultimate benefit of overcoming considerations, fears and roadblocks is not the material rewards that you enjoy but the personal development that you achieve in the process.

Ultimately, success lies in being a better person everyday. Most of us forget that because we are too focused on the end-goal to realize that we are already winners when have gone through the journey to reach our aims.

To all of you who have dared to take a step forward, congratulations. You are winners already:)

lessons from a CMR

This is the second time I'm in the situation where people ask: Is there a doctor here?

I wasn't about to let this moment pass without doing anything.

We were having my dad's side family reunion at Janda Baik. Of course, with the river beside the house, the stairs leading into the house would inevitably turn wet with so many people walking up and down. When my Auntie Nurul was walking down, she somehow slipped. Seconds after that, I heard the commotion downstairs and saw that she was limping and being led to sit on a chair. The fourth toe on her left foot had a slight deformity between the distal and proximal phalanges. Fortunately, Auntie Nurul is a doctor, doing her masters in OnG. So she explained (very calmly amidst everyone's horror) that her toe has been dislocated and that can she please just have someone to pull it to align it back in place.

My granduncles, cousins and relatives dare not to touch her toe and neither did I for that matter. But when people asked around "Who is a doctor?" (and someone did point out that Auntie Nurul IS a doctor herself), I felt like the responsibility weighed heavier on my shoulders (despite the fact that I had no idea what to do). When nobody seemed to want to do it, I had to quickly muster the courage and offered my assistance.

Just when I was about to, people called out that my grand-auntie Opah Wah could fix it back in place. Soon after, she massaged Auntie Nurul's foot with massaging oil. It took about 5 minutes to massage. When Auntie Nurul told her to just pull the toe, Opah Wah assessed the dislocation, frowned and said (in Malay with Perak dialect) "I cannot fix this."

The other alternative would mean to send her to a clinic but that would be about an hour's ride away. I discreetly confided in my mom and said that I can TRY to do it. My mom took one look at me and said, "Alright". I prayed Asar first (with my hands cold) and prayed hard that I would help and not cripple her (seeing that I had no idea what the consequences could turn out to be).

After that, I walked into the house as confidently as I could. First thing I asked Auntie Nurul was, "What's the worst that could happen?" and she replied, "Pain." I nodded. She instructed me, "Pull it (the distal phalanx) as hard as you can until you hear a click, then pull it upwards."

She took a towel to bite on for when I would pull her toe. I took a cloth, held her toe between my fingers and my thumb and pulled as hard as I could with both hands. It slipped because of the oil. There was no "click".

The second attempt, I held her foot with my left hand and pulled with my right hand. Again, no successful outcome. I thought that I couldn't do it after all. Beside me was her husband and after having been proud enough that I have actually DONE something, I gestured to pass the cloth to him (an engineer). But he hesitated. Auntie Nurul's dad (my granduncle) was sitting next to me and encouraged: "Alia, just try it one more time." I dejectedly replied, "No, I really can't do it." but he pushed me on and said, "Just try one more time. One more time."

So I asked my mom to hold down Auntie Nurul's foot and used both my hands to pull as hard as possible. Just when I thought all hope was lost, there was an unexpected "click" and I pushed the toe upwards. I looked at Auntie Nurul in momentary speechlessness. Auntie Nurul, while red in the face, exclaimed, "It's fixed!" My mom hugged me tight. My granduncle shook my hands and referred to me as "Doctor Alia!" I just stared at Auntie Nurul and the first thing that came out of my mouth was, "Thank you for trusting me." She replied with a smile: "Of course I trust you."

Later that evening after Auntie Nurul announced that "that young doctor was the one who fixed my toe" and reassured everyone that she was fine, we sat for a quiet chat.

I told her (in English of course): Auntie Nurul, I only did it because you believe I could do it. If not, I would not have dared.

She looked at me: Alia, one of the things a doctor needs is to be brave. You had to have the guts to do what you did just now. Eventhough you've just finished 1st year, you still did it. This procedure is called Closed Manipulative Reduction (CMR) and you will only learn it in 3rd year during Orthopedics.

Honestly, anyone could have done it. I don't know what made me feel so confident to do it. But I told myself that I just HAD to do something, or else I would have lived the rest of my life wondering What would have happened if I actually tried? The first time I faced such a situation was when an old lady fell while walking and there was blood gushing from her nose. I was only a few months into my first year. I didn't know what to do and neither did anyone around. At that moment, I vowed to learn Basic Life Support and First Aid training should I ever face the situation again.

Lessons from today:

1. I have renewed spirit to become the best doctor I can be. I could finally apply some things I've learnt in classes.
2. What we need is mostly courage (but be sure to know what's the worst that could happen), And you're lucky if there's a medical doctor around too!
3. Despite the fact that you have no idea what to do, belief from other people is all it takes to lend you strength to make you confident in whatever you do. Thank you Ummi and Auntie Nurul =)