The Undeserving Day

I love blogging. I honestly do. How do you think I reached 229 posts today since I first started out last year? It's just that now that holidays have taken over my life, I am more busier. Yes, you read that right. So many things i've set out to do and they are being fulfilled one by one!

So, the biggest thing that we were meant to look forward to; The NPC. National Physics Competition. Oh it was a breeze! I mean, I don't understand why on earth I was fretting on it in the first place. Just a piece of cake! I took one look and my pen worked on its own; filling out the answers for all the four questions within those 2 and a half hours.

Yes, that's what I wish I could have written. That's what I wish HAD happened- but then again, we wish for a lot of things in life. SO here's what actually happened. I shall relate the story in 3rd person because I am too depressed to refer to the person as myself.

The day before the National Physics Competition she went to her friend's house to get the mood pumping and fill all her bodily fluids with study and caffeine. Alas, what do you expect can be done within 17 hours before the competition itself? Finish and complete the Giancoli book from cover to cover? If only... if only...

So for the first time feeling so unprepared and not confident for the exam paper, she entered the exam hall, took her seat and looked at the first question. Law of thermodynamics. Okay, second question: Work. Moving on to third question: Projectile Motion.... And the final question: Momentum. The worst thing was that the question were barely understood. Even if you wanted to 'bantai', you couldn't. That's how bad it was.

Barely an hour passed, she felt like crying, could do no more and raised her hand up. "Please can I submit my paper?" she uttered. And before she handed the paper, the lecturer who took it said "Can you wait until the end of the exam? You are going to be treated to lunch." Her mouth was agape and she wanted to voice out "I don't think I deserve to be treated." But she closed her mouth back and nodded meekly. She walked out of the room and, in a daze, sat down on the bench outside. What else was there to do? Took out her sketch book and started doodling the scene infront of her. Killing time, waiting for her braver exam-mates.

An hour passed and they came. Also exasperated, exhausted and feeling much guilty of their performance - or lack of it.

Lunch came, and the exam candidates who sat for the competition (4 of them) were treated to a hearty lunch with the lecturers and they were called the "Guests of Honor". Which apparently made her feel even smaller and guiltier. These exam candidates were commented to being "role models" and it was a relief to know that "all-rounders exists". She would have felt better shrinking and climbing into a hole. And then her lecturer added, "Alia, I have something to tell you." She freezes. "Actually, I think you are a genius." Genius??? "In drawing. You're really good in drawing and I admire the way you draw." She felt like running away. Far far away. She did not deserve it. Any of it.

And that is why 30th July 2009 is called The Undeserving Day.

sharpies!

Apparently I am getting subtle hints on my chatbox on the right about my lack of updates. Is it my personal updates people want or just the fact that I'm writing about some random things? It's not that I do not want to write more- eventhough I'm on my laptop a lot of the times, but it's just that I have been doing other things.

So here goes for this week:

1. Attended Suhaib Webb's talk on Sunday and Tuesday; ie The Prophet in my iPod and Revenge of the Fallen: Facing the Deception. Apart from the unexpectedly engaging and riveting talkby Imam Suhiab, MashaAllah for the first time ever in my life, I witnessed a person reverting to Islam. It was so beautiful. After she said the Syahadah, women started hugging her and I could not help but cry. It was a sight to behold.The sisters all hugging and welcoming her into our big family.
2. Nurun and Anas went back home on Monday night:( Well, pictures can all be found on facebook. But it was really awesome having you guys around:) Next time we meet, Anas will probably be engaged already! Haha. Can't wait to know how Nurun will be like by then *hint hint*
3. We held the Toastmasters Demonstration Meeting last night at Intelligent Speakers. Alhamdulillah, it went on successfully, thanks to the team of experienced speakers as well as our team of EXCO:)and a forced thank you to the self-proclaimed pwnage president.
4. Aaand, I got sharpies:)

Upcoming plans:

• Invocation for MIM Toastmasters
• Attend SIFE National Competition (be a supporter/fan)
• Prepare for Ramadhan, MBBS, NPC
• complete comics and badges for Semarak Ramadhan
  
• try out my superawesome new sharpies:)
  

orientation

Although there is no need to apologise, I would like to extend my deepest condolence to my raging writing self who has been locked away for far too long.

After my exams, we had a two day weekend (normal stuff) and immediately proceeded to having the orientation. Although it was only four days, the facilitators and organizing committee had to come earlier for training and preparations to ensure a smooth sailing orientation.

As the secretary, there was initially not much action work to do; but a lot of paperwork - writing letters, reports, minutes etc. But since I was part of the organizing committee, we were always on 'standby' and can be dispatched to replace anyone anytime.

So during the first day, I had to aid the accommodations department who were short of manpower. Since I was in charge of a house, I had to note down any defects observed and help the new students settle in right at home. However, I encountered a most unexpected remark in the form of a parent complaining about "the state of the apartment and that his daughter had a better offer elsewhere but he sacrificed and sent his daughter here instead." It would have been helpful had I even known how to answer (I was caught in a bind since I had only just entered the house and did not expect any of this)- but it was even more traumatizing for me since everything was in Malay. Thanks to the chief of accommodation who was swift enough to come to my rescue and reply smoothly.

Moving on, there wre no other dramas which left detrimental effects on my well-being. Except planning for the SCTL Presentation. I had to present to about 100+ students a 15 minute presentation on one of the unique components of learning in our college- the Student Centered Team-based Learning. With only two days to prepare the slides, 10 minutes to rehearse my presentation, it was a miracle I could pull it off.

That's me standing at the front there presenting!
Picture courtesy of Wan Safiyyah Nurnajah (for taking the pic) and Amal (for uploading it)

Thanks to the Chief of facilitators who looked throughout my slides and told me which points to focus. And mostly to my benchmarker- Alina Khadijah for sitting patiently with me while I rantingly rehearsed and gave me constructive criticism and post-mortems. You are a wonder, my dear:)

One of the aspects I had to talk about how to present- that is public speaking. I would have promoted Toastmasters and injected into their minds but then again, probably I'll promote it to them soon enough.

One of the slides I did was "Speaking is an art". I'm not so sure if they read through it since I could only stay on this slide for a few seconds. When the Head of Faci Dept looked through, he didn't say anything and none from the audience remarked anything. So yes, It does make me feel like I'm on the way to becoming a top-notch speaker. In due time~

All in all, a pretty fulfilling week - though slightly outdated.

Everyday so far has something on. Phew. It's going to be one productive holiday.

who am i?

Mankind can be categorized into two groups:

1) Those who are defeated by their desires. These people obey the world and are immersed in worldly matters. They are the nonbelievers. Those who follow them are the ones who forget Allah, so Allah forgets them. Says the Qur’an:

Have you ever seen a person who takes as his god his own desires? Allah knows this and so has left him astray, and sealed his hearing and his heart [and understanding] and veiled his sight. Who, then, will guide him after Allah [has withdrawn guidance]? Will you not then receive admonition. [Qur’an 45:23]

2) Those who struggle against their desires. In doing so, sometimes they win and sometimes they lose. When they do wrong they repent. When they commit sins they regret them and ask forgiveness from Allah. Allah, the Almighty, says:

Vie with one another to attain your Sustainer’s forgiveness and to a paradise as vast as the heavens, when they and the earth, which has been readied for the God-conscious who, when they have done something to be ashamed of or wronged their own souls, earnestly bring God to mind and ask for forgiveness for their sins - for who can forgive sins except Allah - and do not knowingly persist in (the wrong) they have done. [Qur’an 3:135]

The Prophet (s) told us: "All sons of Adam make mistakes. The best among them are those who do wrong and repent." [Tirmidhi]

one night...

I am on my laptop, finishing off some work. I see a tiny black 'thing' scurrying on the white tiles of the living room. I call for my brother but when he arrives, the 'thing' is gone. My brother takes a wad of tissue paper and prepares for the extermination. He searches, but it is gone. I see it again but when my brother eyes at the location, it disappears again. I hate vanishing 'things'. Because you never know they can end up on you *shivers*.

My saviour leaves to go upstairs again. And this time I see the medium-sized thing flitting towards me. It's like playing a game on "Let's scare Alia out of her wits" and making me think I'm delusional. I pull my legs up onto the chair and scan the floor. I call my brother again and he inspects for the insect. He spots it once- i know I'm not delusional.

I ask him, "Aren't you scared of cockroaches?"

And he answers, "I am. But I transform that emotion of fear into the energy to kill." He expresses this with conviction and belief, with his hands gesturing wildly and crushing those wads of tissues in his hands. He has on him a half-crazed maniac expression.

I stare wide-eyed and excuse myself to my room.

And the night is still again.

list

Things to do this 1 month holiday:

• attend July Intake Orientation
• learn to do digital painting/colouring
• learn to make sushi
  
• complete the comics and badges for upcoming CUCMS Semarak Ramadhan
• prepare for ramadhan
• prepare for MBBS
• prepare for NPC 09
  
• prepare 5th speech (this has been overdue for far too long)
• kidnap Farah Firman
• hang out with Nurun and Anas
• execute my VPE duties
• write a novel... or at least the first draft
• ?

Anything else I missed out?

happily

Alina: (rollerblading) Alia, why are you holding my hand like I'm some sampah sarap?

Alia: (walking) What? no no! If I hold tightly, then in case you want to speed up or slow down, you won't have to depend on me and can just let go.

Alina: Yes... but..

Alia: Besides, if you fall, then I can just release your hand and you'll fall alone:)

Alina: I'll make sure you fall too!

Alia: Depends if I trip over a crack or if I get startled by a cockroach or something.

Alina: Well, probably by a leaf that LOOKS like a cockroach.

Alinalia: *laughing like half-crazed hooligans over senseless-ness*

And we walked and roller bladed happily ever after:)