On Becoming a Parent

What does it take to become an awesome parent?

Recently my dad shared an article titled "Raising Children with Deen and Dunya" which he urged us to read. At first I wasn't too interested in reading it because it was really lengthy but when my dad pushed me to read it, I started and couldn't stop. It impacted me so much so that it made me think about what I need to do now.

Firstly, there are so many things on my mind when it comes to parenting. My parents are like "Parent Counsellors" who give talks about parenting, wrote books on parenting (Cool Mum Super Dad), and eat and breathe parenting. I've attended a few of their talks and seminars and what I have to say as one of their kids is this: Whatever they say, is true- and they still do so much more.

My lecturer once said: "As a student, you guys have to do nothing but just look after yourselves. When you're married and working, you'll have to look after your spouse, kids, patients, bosses, colleagues, in-laws etc". And while that's completely true, I've not given it much thought until now. Sometimes I used to start nagging when I ask my brothers to help me out but they say they're too tired (but nowadays, hardly do such issues arise) and I retort, "What on earth do you guys even have to do at school? Just sit in class, listen to the teacher and do your homework." So now I can understand my parents' feelings when before this I say I'm too tired/lazy to follow them anywhere or do house chores.


After being on holiday for just 2 weeks, I realize that there's just so much that they do. On top of earning money to put food on the table (giving seminars, talks, handling emails, supervising the other businesses etc), my parents also have to handle us (which includes listening, advising, spending time, fulfilling our needs, disciplining, managing, parenting etc), and they also have extra activities (dad as chairman of the local surau, mum writing a new book, them attending to other programs).

So it worries me when I ponder, "Why on earth did I decide to become a doctor when I want to focus on raising my kids?" There was a great debate about this during a course I attended and it made me rethink about staying in medical school. But when I consulted a few people, they said, "Well, we know of some friends whose parents are doctors and they turned out alright." I don't deny that. But ultimately, what do I want for myself and my family? Yes, perhaps doctors can juggle between their demanding career and their family. But there will always be a cost. Somewhere.

After reading the article, it registered that perhaps I'm over-thinking it all of those. That perhaps I'm focusing on the wrong things as of now. Yes, time spent with them and everything is important, that becoming a doctor might not necessarily give me enough time to be with them. But eventually, whatever jobs I take might render the same thing. And the greatest thing I've to think about now which I surmise from the article is this: I've to develop good habits now so that even if I'm unable to always be with them, I'd still be parenting with whatever actions I do.


Whatever I'm doing now, whatever habits I develop, it's got to be something that I would want to benefit my children. InsyaAllah, I hope to become a parent my kids will be proud to have.