Lessons from Not Eating

Bismillah.

I've met, seen and heard about so many amazing people who seem to have never-ending energy to do everything. I greatly admire these people and I wish to emulate them in every way. In the course of this pursuit, I learnt a very important lesson; which took place yesterday.

It's my mid-sem break and I had planned so many things so that I can accomplish as much as I can. I've been continuously reminded that we have so little time left and there's still so much we have to do. What that principle in mind, I wanted to push myself to the limit and do everything I can. In normal circumstances, I think I could have handled them. But yesterday, Allah wanted to teach me a lesson.

Before that, on Wednesday, after having tightened my braces, of course my teeth were throbbing- consequently causing me to eat, talk and smile less. Each muscle contraction inflicts pain and this continued for a few days. I had no mood to eat because I could hardly munch anything.

On Friday, I had a long list of meetings and sessions that followed with a program which ended the next day followed by another program the next night. Throughout Friday, my head was spinning and I felt like crashing to the ground every few minutes. I don't know why I didn't figure out it was because I didn't eat. I didn't FEEL hungry (maybe I was too hypoglycemic to realize that I was hungry?). It should have been obvious but I figured out that maybe I was in distress because of other things on my mind. By Maghrib, after the meetings, I ended up feeling very irritable and highly stressed.

Still not figuring out my palatal problem, I finally called a friend up and asked her advice on whether I should just go home or still go to the next program. I argued that going home would just mean I do nothing but sleep, and going to the program would feed my soul. She said the one thing which struck me:

"Alia, sleeping is an ibadah too. If you need the rest, don't push yourself to do other things. Whatever you do, whether its sleeping or eating, those are ibadah too."

It took me a few minutes to register that. I thanked her and decided to go home.

And Alhamdulillah, after reaching home, eating dinner, chatting with my brother and my sister-in-law, laughing and finally sleeping; I woke up the next day refreshed and revitalized.

I honestly revere the great people and sometimes wonder how is it that they're able to do it. Maybe they've learnt their lessons too. Maybe they've learnt to manage their time and their energy. InsyaAllah maybe I can do that one day.

This is what I concluded:

1. It's okay to feel tired and take a break. It's part of being a human. We're not invincible and we have limits. Rest when you need to and pick things back up. But never let go of everything all at once.
   
2. From a tafseer class at CUCMS, Ust Hasanuddin said (translated to English and as understood by me) that "Everyone has their own capacity of how much they can do. Maybe to you, what that person did was small but that is according to his capacity and the best that he can do."
   
3. Resting too is an ibadah.